Dare You To Move
by Paper Kettle
Summary: Something terrible happens to Matt and no one knows what to do to help him. Can L, Light and Mello help him overcome his nightmare and catch the culprit or will he resort to drastic measures to escape the pain? Hopefully not as emo as it sounds. MxM
1. Chapter 1

_AN-_ Hello! :) God I'm writing another one... Oh well! This is **yaoi** thats **boy love** no likey? Then kindly leave because I couldn't care less if you hate yaoi/shounen ai/whatever. I don't own any of the characters or whatever so yeah.

This plot came to me while doing homework so _naturally _I stopped what I was doing and just started to type. I'm going to fail if I keep this outlook but it's too hard to stop once I have an idea! So yeah, once again I have idea where this plot is going and will be fleshing it out while I should be concentrating on everything else in my life.

The title is from the song I'm listening to right now that I figure works for this story more or less. You should check it out :) 'I Dare You To Move'. I might change the name if I have a poetic brainwave but it's unlikely.

On with the story!!!

* * *

_Cold. It's so fucking cold._

These are the only thoughts running through the mind of the young man lying in the deserted alleyway. He lies completely still just out of view of the street. Not that this matters anyway, since it had started raining not ten minutes ago and people with half a brain cell had all ran to the nearest shelter.

This doesn't mean he is lacking common sense, quite the opposite actually – he is a natural born genius. So really, he knew the fact he has been lying in the rain for so long (an hour? Two? He can't be sure) is one of the stupidest things he had done to date and really, he should get his idiot arse home.

But he can't… Move that is.

Unfortunately, the young man's train of broken thought (that nevertakes a _bloody _rest) turns full circle back to what transpired early on.

* * *

_The clouds are rolling in now and the redheaded man curses no one in particular that he is nowhere near home. Or base. Whatever it was been called these days. He better get back soon, or the blond won't have any chocolate, the older raven-haired man will be lacking in his sugar and that bastard will have to deal with them._

_Put the duo together and he is pretty much screwed. Despite what his inner-monologue may suggest, Matt actually quite likes the brunet bastard and it would be a shame for him to be killed by the others._

_Entertaining yes, but not worth it. _

_The teen idly swings the carrier bag full of unhealthy foods as he walks down the fairly deserted pathway, humming the Mario theme tune randomly. _

_He doesn't know how he ended up being the one to make the trip to the store, but its really obvious now he thinks about it._

_There are two possible reasons. First off, they could think he's the stupidest out of them all and thus should do the minor jobs. Second, it could be because he was playing his games and not actually _working_ like the rest of them._

_The blond wouldn't go because he would cause trouble without a doubt. The black haired man never went out and was technically the one doing most the work. The brunet wasn't allowed to go anyway unescorted because of reasons Matt wasn't supposed to know._

_The redhead is pulled from his thoughts when he notices a shadow lurking at the mouth of an alleyway up ahead. Furrowing his brow, he carries on as if he hasn't noticed the impending danger, changing his hum to a more upbeat song whose name escapes him._

_He supposes that it's meant to be a surprise mugging of some sort, but with the surprise being lost, Matt figures he can easily subdue the jerk-off and carry on his way._

_He's at the alley opening when he realises how wrong he was, but it's too late now._

_The shadow isn't alone. One man sucker-punches Matt straight in the face, catching him off guard and making him drop his precious bags of food. Before he can recover, the other giant kicks him in the gut and the redhead keels over coughing._

_He tries to fight back, but it's been too long since his last street fight and Matt quickly discovers how far he has fallen physically. At some point, his goggles fall to his neck and he receives a fist to his face, one that will no doubt turn into a black eye. He manages to get a few lucky shots on the bastards but over all, the redhead can tell he's screwed._

_He's knocked down on to the concrete when one of the men decides it must be over and picks up one of his fallen bags. At seeing the contents, he throws them to the floor in rage and stomps on the strawberry cake and dairy milk chocolate bars. _

_Matt can't help but imagine what the genius' would be doing if they had witnessed such a wrong doing upon their sweets, but the thought is quickly gone as the angry men step towards him. They can't be serious. It's not his fault that they didn't want his sweets, but he was going to pay for it huh? Not cool._

_The smaller of the two (but he was by no means small- maybe as tall as himself. The other guy was just a fucking mountain in comparison) turns and whispers something in the giant's ear. Said giant gives the smaller a look that could only be described as horrified._

_Oh shit. He knows this can't be good._

_Matt considers making a feeble attempt at running. A coward's choice maybe but he really doesn't care at this point. Just as he gathers the courage to lift himself to his forearms, a heel comes down painfully on his back._

_He cry's out in pain as he collapses back to the ground, making the man above him chuckle darkly. Matt opens one eye and looks to the giant. It's hard to make him out but he can see the clear grimace on his face – a sight that chills the redhead to the bone._

_If this were on of his many games, Matt knows this would be the part where he gets an unexplainable power up and unlocks a new special skill to kill the enemy. Like any other protagonist would._

_But this isn't a game. He has no super power, and even if it were a game, who's to say he would be the hero? No. He bitterly thinks about how he would be a sidekick at best. _

_The man's next words are spoken straight in his ear as his head is jerked upwards and his neck exposed. His eyes go wide at the hissed words and the redhead tries to feebly struggle, although to no avail as the man has a knee in his back to stop him escaping, and his arms are pinned beneath himself._

_He darts furiously narrowed eyes to the man above him, turning fear to anger without so much as a thought. The admittedly handsome male just smirks and fucking _pinches_ his cheek. Matt growls in response but goes silent in shock when the hand slaps him clear across the face._

_He can't believe this is happening. He was going to the _store_ for Christ's sake! A walk he has gone on countless times before without so much as a-_

'Gamer, starin at that TV set

Play that, let me see that genesis

Gamer, starin at that TV set

Play that, I wanna that N.E.S-'

_Matt freezes at the sound of his ringtone, along with the two assailants. He's been gone too long now and the others must be out of sweets, or worried. The man above him (now affectionately nicknamed Bastard) shoves a hand in the pocket of his coat and retrieves the bright red phone. Bastard observes it for a moment and glances at his prisoner. Upon seeing his face, Bastard seems to decide this might be fun and flips the mobile open, pressing the button to answer it and clamping a hand over Matt's face simultaneously._

"_Hello?" He asks in a sickeningly sweet voice. There is a pause on the other end and Matt hopes for a minute Bastard will just hang up. Of course, he doesn't. He puts it on fucking loudspeaker._

_The person on the other end of the phone can be heard loud and clear to the three in the alley. "I'm terribly sorry sir, I appear to have the wrong number." Light's voice is injected professionally with concern but Matt can tell the brunet is suspicious. He always answered his phone. He knew Light was too conceited to think he might have possibly dialled the wrong number._

_"Well, who is it you're trying to contact?" Bastard asks without missing a beat._

"…_His name is Ryuuzaki. I don't suppose this is his number?" Matt had to stop himself raising an eyebrow at the use of one of L's aliases. Couldn't he have been more creative? Matt didn't even LOOK like he was called Ryuuzaki. Oh well._

_Bastard smirks at the redhead, "actually, this is his phone. Ryuu isn't available right now, mind if I take a message? I'll be sure to pass it on with the utmost care." Matt glares darkly at the black haired man and considers biting his hand, but restrains himself._

_There's mumbling on the other end of the phone and he guesses the others are contemplating what's going on. It doesn't even take a minute for Light to formulate his reply, "Well it was nothing really. The kids are just getting irritable waiting for their surprise treat, please make sure to tell him to get the sweets could you?"_

_The two criminals look at the destroyed bags and strangely enough, the giant looks upset. Bastard just chuckles and replies with an ok before hanging up on the other young man. He takes his hand from Matt's face, his eyes gleaming, "Now then, where were we?"_

_The giant is looking really uncomfortable and Matt knows why. A cold hand is trailing itself down to places he REALLY doesn't want this guy to be touching. The thought of what he's planning on doing is enough to make the redhead want to gag and he almost does but stops himself in time._

_Bastard turns to the giant and snaps at him to guard the alley and wait till he's done. He tries to buck the psycho off his body but it doesn't work and a lot of thrashing around and cursing finds Matt with his face crushed against the asphalt and the man working on his belt._

_With his face flat against the ground, he let a few tears escape. They were merely a slice what was about to transpire… _

* * *

Its at this point Matt forces himself not to think about the pain (_unbearable, intruding, burning_) and humiliation that he suffered (_weak, pathetic, begging_). Bastard has left his phone, threw it with a grin deep somewhere towards the back of the alley, and Matt can't bring himself to go get it.

If he moves, it'll hurt like hell. He knows this but he also knows he needs to get himself together. If he stays here he'll most probably die and that would be inconvenient because death is no fun and he lives for fun. It's what the games are for – fun, a challenge, and an escape.

After counting to ten in all the languages he can think of, he finally brings himself to roll over onto his back, triggering a chorus of throbbing pains. Rain pours down on his prone body but Matt doesn't mind because it washes some of the blood away. It takes a lot more counting and cursing before he decides the pain has subsided enough for him to get up. With a grunt, he pulls himself up the wall with gloved hands and stumbles into a rubbish bin before catching himself again.

Panting heavily, the redhead makes his way to where he thinks his phone might be and clutches around for it blindly. After finding the device, Matt has the joy of discovering the battery to be dead and shoves the offending device into his pocket once more.

Using the wall as support, the gamer limps to the street and looks around for any kind of help. Despite the road being deserted of any living being, various cars are parked along the roadside…

Technically, it won't be illegal if he brings it back. Besides, there was no way in fucking _hell_ he was walking all that way to the base.

He surveys all the cars and decides that the closest car he could easily rewire is a beat up black thing that he can't get his fuzzed mind to identify the make of. He pulls his goggles back into place over his face, just in case anyone sees him.

It doesn't take long to hobble over to it and smash one of the windows to break in. Making quick work of the rewiring (his speciality isn't cars but he's not too shabby with them) the redhead climbs carefully into the drivers seat, hissing at the shot of pain up his spine.

God he needs a cigarette. Matt pulls off the side of the road and starts driving automatically towards L's skyscraper. He's starting to mentally freak out over everything so he shoves a hand in his bloodstained pocket and gets his pack of fags (1) to calm down.

Oh joy, there's only one left. Sullenly, he takes the cig straight from the box and throws the remaining cardboard somewhere to his right. He lights up with a flick of his wrist and takes a deep soothing drag. Ok, so now he can think mildly clearly Matt needs to decide on what to tell everyone else.

The truth? No. He knows the chances of Bastard being caught are slim to none. What's the point in embarrassing himself for no reason? He doubts he would get the other's sympathy, since only Light is socially adept. But he still doesn't want them to know.

So it's a lie then. Matt sighs. It's true he's good with his words and can string a lie up a lot of the time with ease but not with those three. They were like fucking bloodhounds and could spot lies from a mile away – it's what made them good at their jobs. Damn. He has no choice though really because the only remaining choice is…

…Run away? The young man outright laughs at himself for even considering it. If he were discovered missing (funny way of phasing it) all hell would break loose. No, running away was a terrible idea.

But what can he tell them…?

The redhead swerves to avoid hitting various cars as he thinks it over. He knows he's breaking the law again by speeding and L is likely to go bat-shit crazy at him but he can't bring himself to care. His hands are sticky against the steeling wheel and Matt breaks out of his thoughts to notice his gloves coated in blood.

Lucky he did have the gloves, or his hands would most likely be torn to pieces from the fight. The rest of his attire is no better off, dirty and with rips in his pants and striped sleeves. Matt grimaces when he notices his belt and pants to be undone and hastily does them up one-handed.

For the rest of the drive, he completely zones out, relying solely on instinct to lead him back to the building. As the looming skyscraper comes into view, Matt curses loudly. He has absolutely _no idea_ what to say when he gets in there. Oh well, he'd just have to improvise…

He wonders as he pulls up by the gate if the computer will let him in. He doesn't know how the system used to work but he's rewired the whole thing to be ten times better. If worse comes to worse, he can hack in fairly easily since it's his design, but he'd rather not.

This thought becomes unnecessary as the screen crackles to life and Watari's silhouette appears. "Name and business please?"

"It's Matt." He says simply. Watari is silent for a minute before a piece of the wall beneath the screen shifts and slides away to reveal a fingerprint and retina scanner. The redhead reluctantly pulls off a glove, placing it on the blue screen. Then he leans out slightly and lifts up his goggles, letting his left eye be scanned.

"Identity verified. Access granted." A computerised voice relays. Matt pulls his goggles back down before the old man can see his blackening eye. He flicks the remainder of his fag out the smashed window as the steel gates open.

He quickly parks the heap of junk in the underground parking lot and takes a minute to breathe. Watari would have told the others he is back now so they'll be expecting him to appear any minute and ask him a whole bunch of questions he isn't sure he can answer.

After pulling himself together, Matt opens the door and steps out onto the concrete. He doesn't have time to run upstairs and get changed, and even the thought of _running_ anywhere makes the pain seem to increase. He ignores it though, and heads towards the elevator, pleased that his limp isn't as pronounced as it had been.

He jams his thumb into the button and tries to fix his messed up hair – not that it makes much of a difference – before boarding the metal death trap.

He blanks out on the ride up, seeming calm and collected when really he feels close to a breakdown. When the doors finally open with an obnoxious 'ding' Matt feels no better than he had back in the deserted alleyway. He walks to the doors to the investigation room, where they spend practically all their time and takes a deep breath.

As soon as he opens the doors, four sets of eyes whip around to him in surprise.

He knows he must look a sight for sore eyes. His hair is still messed up and dirty. His coat has blood spatters all over it, and his sleeves are torn in places. He has two holes ripped in his jeans just over his knees and one of his knees is bleeding quite badly.

"…Yo."

"What the _fuck_ happened to you?!" He turns his eyes to the blond. Mello looks furious and terrified at the same time, staring at his clothes. Matt feels something weird that he doesn't want to identify at the worry in Mello's voice, but he pushes the feeling down and limps forward a bit only to stop when all eyes follow the movement.

"…I fell." He replies.

* * *

AN-

(1) For people who don't know, since apparently it's a British word, a fag can mean a gay person _or _a cigarette. Matt grew up in England so I'm not going to bother trying to use American words I don't even know.

Yayyyy. I don't know why I wrote this. Boredom and procrastination played a part, I think. :D

Don't have any idea what I'm doing but I felt like writing some angst. It won't all be so sad, I hope. Matt will be acting kinda OOC since… well look at what happened to him.

See I _was_ going to write the actual scene but then I was like "I CAN'T DO THAT TO MATTTTTTT" There will be like, references and memories though. It'll be broken up though because Matt is trying not to think about it.

Also, Near WILL make an appearance, so if you like him there's something to look forward to I guess. He'll probably be OOC though because I don't like all that much.

R&R AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

AN- This starts where Chapter 1 ended so I'll just make this short and get on with the story, shall I?

Thank you to everyone who read/reviewed/alerted/faved and everything because it makes me happy and made me want to try and churn this one out faster XD

Disclaimer- Not mine. I am getting Death Note Another Note for Christmas though!! Yayyyyy for me! I know what happens anyway, but still!

Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. I have proof-read it but I'm tired so I may have missed something. I hope its nothing to noticeable though.

I'm also not sure if this should be a T or an M. I'm leaning towards M and it's probably a stupid question but whatever.

* * *

"…I fell." He replies.

Silence follows his statement and Matt feels like hitting himself because that is probably the _worse_ lie he has ever used. It's obvious from their faces that no one believes him and everyone in the room knows it.

Shit. He lets out a dramatic sigh and limps over to the couches. His PSP is on the table there and he picks it up, fully intent on losing himself in the virtual worlds. It appears Mello doesn't like this idea though because he storms over to the redhead and snatches the black device straight out of his grip.

"No! Matt you've been gone for five _goddamn_ hours and we want to know what the _fuck_ happened because you would never let some random _stranger_ answer your phone!" He snaps, throwing the PSP onto the couch. "Did someone rob you or some shit?"

Matt feels himself tense up in fear at Mello's proximity but he tries to ignore the feeling and speak. "No one robbed me, Mello." He takes his phone from his pocket and holds it up for everyone to see, "My battery died." He smiles in fake cheeriness and scratches his neck sheepishly, "I kind of dropped your chocolate and cake too… it was all crushed into the ground so I just left it there. Sorry."

"Matt came in a car." L states. Matt nods wearily, "A car that does not belong to him, no doubt."

"I didn't want to walk… it sort of hurts." He says pathetically, trying to subtly move away from Mello and get his personal bubble back.

"The chances of Matt falling over, crushing our food and stealing a car in one day are less than 3% with no Mello involved. Couple that with a mysterious man whom you seem to be avoiding the mention of and I believe something bad has happened that can be summed up with more than, 'I fell'-"

_Oh fuck stupid damned World's Greatest Detective._

"-Matt is currently cursing me in his mind." Ok now that's just plain creepy. Light has stayed strangely silent so far; watching Matt with calculating eyes that the redhead knows it can't be good to be on the receiving end of.

"L I think we should leave it, for now." The brunet says. Mello snaps his head round to face Light, pure anger on his face.

"What? No! We were freaking out over here while he was off doing whatever! And now you're just going to let him off Yagami? You have to be kidding me!" He yells, waving his arms around dramatically. Mello turns to glare furiously at Matt, making the gamer flinch. "You're a liar and a bastard."

Matt watches the blond for a moment behind the safety of his tinted goggles before glancing over at the other three and turning on his heel. "I'm going to take a shower, I'm covered in shit I don't want on me and obviously if I don't leave now, this'll turn into an interrogation. Watari, is the bathroom on my floor fixed?"

For the past few days, Matt and Mello haven't been able to use the bathroom on their floor due to an… accident involving the former and a severe lack of chocolate. They have resolved not to mention it ever again and the redhead is sticking to that wholeheartedly.

The old man, who has been silently standing in the corner up until now, nods his head yes. "It was fixed while you were… out."

Matt just nods and limps back the way he came, hands deep in his pockets. He can feel their eyes on him but ignores them in favour of just getting the hell away from there.

The ride up to his floor is uneventful, and once there he goes straight to his room to get some clean clothes. The ones he's currently wearing need to be burned. He wonders idly if that would be suspicious, but dismisses the thought because he doesn't really care.

His room is dark; something that sends shivers up the redhead's spine. He flicks on the light unnecessarily; justifying it by thinking it's to avoid stepping on any of the games or modems scattered across the floor. He wastes no time grabbing a random shirt and jeans before hauling his arse out of the room and down the hallway to the bathroom.

The door closes and the redhead locks it without even thinking, throwing his clothes down somewhere by the toilet. He leans into the shower to turn the nozzle, putting the heat on high. His movements are all automatic; no thoughts involved at all.

Matt comes back to himself when he moves to stand in front of the mirror over the sink. He takes in his dishevelled appearance and outwardly grimaces. No wonder the others were staring – he looks like he feels.

Taking great care, the young man moves his goggles so they now rest on his hair. A big purple bruise is growing over his left eye so he experimentally pokes at it, hissing at the shot of pain though his skull. It wasn't _that_ bad, compared to some other injures he's had over his 18 years. It'll probably only take a few days to heal, if he's being optimistic.

Moving as fast as possible (which isn't very fast at _all_) Matt systematically removes each piece of dirtied clothing, leaving his boxers alone for the moment. Steam is gathering around his body from the shower now, so when he takes another look in the mirror to assess the damage, it's too fogged up to make out more than his silhouette. He decides against wiping away the condensation, preferring to check the injuries once under the scolding jet.

The stream of water hits his chest as soon as Matt steps into the shower, making him hiss slightly through his teeth. It burns as it rolls over the fairly fresh wounds, but it's a welcome pain because at the same time, the redhead can feel his tightly wound muscles slowly unravelling.

The next few minutes are spent just standing under the steady flow, waiting for the blood and grime to be washed away. Matt takes his time scrubbing his whole body from head to toe, wanting nothing more than for any evidence of what Bastard did to be gone in a swirl down the drain.

Unfortunately, the thought of just _why_ he wanted to disinfect himself inside and out finally caught up with the young man, making him freeze mid action. The man… that _fucking monster_ has raped him. Fucking _raped_ him in some random back alley while his ogre of a partner stood nearby. His breaths start to get shallower as his thoughts progress.

_He could have stopped him. He could have told him he was a psycho, why did he let that __**happen**__ to me?!_ _Why did __**I **__let it happen…! I'm supposed to be stronger than that… stronger than this…_

Matt barely notices the tears rolling down his face until his legs give out and he falls to the tiled floor, overcome by his self-loathing and grief. Some small, logical part of his mind that usually has full control over all his thoughts is trying to tell him it wasn't his fault – the two of them where just too much for him on his own – but his emotional side, the one that he hasn't let loose for a _long_ time has full control right now.

He grips his hands in his hair and let's loose all the anguish that he bottled up as soon as he started heading back to headquarters. He tries to make the most of his moment, knowing almost unconsciously that as soon as he steps out of this small frosted box set in the wall, he'll have to play up to his normal self, not give away the slightest implication that he feels so broken inside.

He's honestly not sure if he can do it.

It takes a while for the cries to simmer down to the occasional whimper, and Matt knows he needs to get back to the others before they come looking for him. He thoroughly scrubs his body once again, making it red raw. He turns off the water supply with a sigh, not bothering to hide how he truly feels because he gets to do it rarely nowadays.

As expected, the bathroom is flooded with mist, so after the redhead grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist; he has to wipe away the condensation that has gathered on the mirror.

One of his eyes is shut so he can get a better look at the purple bruising around it, but the other is wide in fear and rimmed red and puffy. His brow crinkles in annoyance. He can't have it known he has been _crying_, Mello will most likely kill him.

Matt splashes water from the sink in his face, pleased to find his muscles have stopped aching unbearably like they were – now it is more like a dull burning. His mood brightens minutely once again as he comes back up and sees himself looking a great deal better, so he allows himself a small but true quirk of the lips.

He opens the tiny window opposite the door in an attempt at ridding the room of some humidity, making useless waving motions in a moment of childishness.

As the room begins to clear out a bit, the redhead turns to fetch his clothes from the floor. The pile consists of a black silk shirt, which he raises an eyebrow at, and some random form fitting denim jeans. He curses silently when he realises that underwear was forgotten in his rush to get clean. He would normally just put his other boxers back on but they had been soaked through with blood and that wasn't a very nice thought. Commando it is then.

When he's fitted in his fresh clothes, Matt turns to look in the mirror again, ignoring the fact that he is acting strangely vain today for some reason. He tilts his head to the side in inspection. It's not his usual attire, and as soon as he can, he's getting his stripes back, but he supposes the look isn't _too_ terrible. It actually makes him look a bit like Light in a weird way.

He smirks at the thought, but the expression dies as fast as it came. The young man blow-dries his hair without much enthusiasm, using Mello's personal hair-dryer since he doesn't bother owning one himself, and soon his hair is back to its usual state.

Oh great, now he know he has to leave his safe haven. He shoots the door a look that clearly shows that he doesn't want to leave, and his fingers itch for a fag to calm his nerves.

He gathers up his dirtied clothes, making sure his bloodied boxers are at the bottom so he doesn't have to look at them. He'll have to wash them himself later, because there is no way in _hell_ Watari is setting his eyes on them.

With a sigh, the redhead leaves the bathroom and heads back for the investigation room.

* * *

Mello watches the battered redhead's retreating back in shock. He called him a liar and a bastard to gauge his reaction and had fully expected Matt to apologise or laugh, even if he believed himself to be innocent of any wrong doings; it's how their interactions frequently ended. For the younger to simply shrug off his insults without a single expression viewable through his goggles… it's just plain _weird_.

The blond says nothing when the doors click shut, glaring for no fixed reason only that he's _angry_ damn it! He swivels back to face L and Light, his blue eyes catching the auburn haired males narrowed ones, and they both know what they're going to do, so Mello storms towards the pair. L sighs.

"Is this truly necessary?" His monotone voice makes them both pause and glance at him. Is he mad? It's _obviously_ necessary!

Before Mello can tell him this though, Light beats him to it. "L, something is obviously not right. You can't tell me you aren't curious, or worried? No wait, don't answer that, because you'd be lying, and everyone here knows it - so shut up and help us track the cripple, would you?"

Light really has a mean streak – one almost on par with the blonde's own – and he's as much an invasive bastard as the raven-haired detective. Mello wonders often where L picked up the brunet (and he has a feeling Matt knows) but he won't ask the detective himself, since he knows if he needs to know, L will tell him.

They set the cameras to follow the redhead, switching cameras automatically every time Matt moves out of sight. Mello sits down on L's left, propping his boots up on the limited space of the desk and Light leans back with his arms folded on L's other side. As Matt moves into his room on screen, the blond speaks up; "So what do you think happened…?"

Light just hums contemplatively, but L turns his wide eyes to the 19-year-old. Mello meets the gaze fiercely, trying to hide his worry with irritation and it probably would have worked on anyone else, but this _is_ L he's trying to fool. The sweet-addict doesn't mention it though, which he is thankful for, he just turns his gaze back to the screen. "I wouldn't like to make assumptions right now Mello. We do not have any kind of lead to go on, only that Matt looks terrible and is hiding something."

"Him hiding something wouldn't normally be unusual, seeing as he isn't the sharing type - and none of you are, I might add - but the fact he deliberately lied to _Mello_ is defiantly cause for suspicion." Light finishes with a frown.

Mello turns back to the screen, thinking this over as the redhead in question gathers random clothes from around his room. What Light is saying actually makes sense, now he's calmed down enough to think it over. It's been a long time since Matt was the super-duper-happy-fun-times kid he used to be, the one that confided in everything with Mello (who would just call him an annoyance and go back to chasing his dream of being number one), and the blond isn't completely sure when the redhead started to distance himself more; but the point is, Matt still will _never_ lie to Mello. He might, on occasion, withhold information from the older, but lying? Never. Not in all the years they've known each other. He is too loyal for that, the idiot.

The blond breaks out of his thoughts as Matt enters the bathroom and locks the door. He throws his clothes to the floor and Light comments idly that they are going to get all wrinkled, the vain bastard. It's when the redhead takes in his own reflection and pulls a face that all three watchers lean forward slightly in their respective seats.

Matt never shows too much emotion if he feels they will compromise him in some way, and since he's obviously forgotten about the cameras, all his true emotions are coming to the surface. It's truly fascinating to watch.

The oblivious teen takes off his goggles with care, revealing a large purple bruising across his left eye. "Holy _shit_ Matt." Mello hisses as the redhead in question prods his injury with a grimace. " '_I_ _fell'_ my arse! What did he do, fall onto someone's fist?!" He angrily exclaims, waving at the screen.

The two geniuses say nothing, and they barely even look surprised when they share a glance with each other, but they always are good at acting. The steam is building in the bathroom, making it quite hard to make out anything other than a blob of red as Matt strips.

Mello is slightly disturbed by the fact this disappoints him.

Once the young man is in the shower, Light leans his elbow on the desk and rests his head on his hand, looking at the two orphans; "Street fight?"

"He hasn't been in one in years, as far as I know." L answers, glancing at Mello for confirmation.

"Yeah, we quit that shit a while back. Mugging maybe?" The blond says, wishing he had some chocolate to help him think well. How long has it been now, a few hours? He can tell L is just itching for some sweets too.

Light can obviously sense the distress in the room because he turns to Watari, who is sitting with a laptop a little way away from them and asks, "Watari, I know this is a bother but I don't think these two can go much longer without a fix. Do you think you could maybe get them something real quick? Anything really." The old man nods with a smile, for some unknown reason always ready to serve whoever needs him.

After he's gone, L pouts childishly at Light. "Stop ordering him around. It's not Light's place. Besides, Light worded his request like we are drug addicts. It's insulting." The brunet scoffs.

"You treat him like a butler, Ryuu. I was only doing it for your sake anyway. And you are addicts." Mello finds it strange sometimes when Light calls L Ryuuzaki or Ryuu, but he figures the alias must have grown on the man from when he knew the detective as it.

"… I want to thank Light, for thinking of the needs of Mello and I. It was unusually thoughtful of him."

"…Yeah." The auburn haired man murmurs. Mello raises an eyebrow at how… awkward the two seem to be acting, but he pushes the thought away, not wanting to waste time on them while Matt is obviously in some kind of trouble.

"Guys. Matt. Mugging." This seems to drag them back to the room from wherever the duo had wondered off to, and they stare at the blond for a second before clicking back into place and turning to the screen in unison.

"It's highly probable, Mello. He may have lost the shopping during the struggle and escaped in the car he returned in." Light muses.

"Yes, but how long does it take to break into and jumpstart a car? Surely it would take too long if he was being chased? And the missing five hours don't add up." L counters.

"Unless he was trying to lead the muggers away from headquarters, that could explain why it took so long." Mello frowns in thought, "but then there's that unknown person who answered Matt's phone. If it were a mugger, wouldn't they take his mobile? It costs more than a couple of cakes and some chocolate bars."

They all fall into silent thought, the only noise coming from the running water of the shower over the audio system. Mello's head snaps up to the screens in shock, making L and Light look at him in confusion. "Mello? What i-"

"Did you hear that?" The blond cuts off L mid sentence, staring intently at the shower door. The two others turn their attention to the screen in curiosity. That's when they hear it, almost drowned out by the sound of water spraying against tiles.

A sob.

Three pairs of eyes go wide at the barely audible sound, and Mello can feel his heart start beating madly in his chest. The sound gets louder and more pronounced as the redhead beyond the glass lets his protective walls collapse. Mello can tell his face is twisted in worry and shock, but he doesn't care at all.

Matt… _His_ Matt… His best friend… is crying.

He feels a strange twinge in his chest and a lump forming in his throat at the thought. Matt doesn't _cry_. He can't. He's _Matt_ for Christ's sake! He just… shouldn't ever have to cry… The blond frowns in anger at feeling so lost. He doesn't like feeling like this; it's annoying.

No one speaks throughout the whole ordeal, not wanting to listen to the gamer cry his heart out, but at the same time, unable to look away from the scene. After a while, the cries die down and they hear the redhead fumbling around in the shower, probably washing himself up or something.

When he emerges, Matt's expression is broken, proving that any thought of cameras are far from his mind. He drags himself to the mirror and wipes away the condensation; his black eye is shut and the other narrows at his reflection.

None of the geniuses even notice when Watari returns with their precious goods because their eyes are glued to the screen, watching as the redhead washes away the redness of his eyes. The old man takes one look at the scene and rolls his trolley over to the sofas for when the young men are finished peeping.

Mello feels that lump form in his throat again when Matt smiles at his much-better looking reflection. It is a truly happy and simple smile, but somehow the gamer still has an aura of sadness about him, even when he practically bounces around the room, waving at the steam to try and get it to escape out of the window.

The towel-clad teen picks up his clothes and Mello can't help but snigger at his unimpressed expression at not having his customary stripes. All three of them look away to give Matt some kind of privacy as he changes, and Mello for some reason finds himself blushing furiously, but manages to shake it off by the time Matt is done.

"…Are those Light's clothes?" L asks in awe. Mello stares at the screen, his jaw slack.

"No, Ryuu. I don't think so... He looks damn good though." As if he heard Light, a smirk flutters across Matt's face.

"Son-of-a-bitch. He's using my hair-dryer!" Mello curses, he's feeling more like himself now he's seen Matt looking slightly happier. "He should buy his own!"

L raises an eyebrow at Mello under his nest of hair. "Mello keeps a hair-dryer in his bathroom? That's not very safe." The blond pulls tongues at him.

"Your point?" The older man sighs.

"Mello can go ahead and electrocute himself then. Can't say I didn't warn him." He pouts. "Anyway, I think we need to forget about whatever has happened to Matt. If he feels the need, he can tell us. If not…" The crouched over male looks at Mello through his bangs, his thumb against his lips. "… We'll investigate at a later date."

"Sounds good to me, I suppose." Light agrees only slightly reluctantly. Mello bites his lip, brow furrowing slightly in annoyance. He knows it's the best way to go about this, since pushing Matt might cause bad repercussions and besides, they still have to work on various cases. That doesn't mean he doesn't _**really, **__**really **_want to know what occurred in those five hours the redhead was absent. He knows it will be nagging at him and eating him on the inside but…

…Even _L_ thinks this is the best course.

If Matt doesn't end up telling them the truth, it shouldn't be to hard for the three greatest minds on the planet to discover whatever he's hiding, right? He tells himself this firmly and nods in agreement at L's all too-knowing eyes.

He can totally deal with Matt, no matter what the gamer throws at him. And if his lips are sealed, well then the blond is just going to force them open himself, regardless of the consequences.

* * *

MELLO I LOVE YOU, YOU MADMAN. Wow he was fun to write. I know he should have black eyes, but they're blue in this, kay? I know it's a small detail but I wanted to mention it.

Oh yeahhhh I was wondering, would you readers like to see Matt acting amazingly well and seeming like his usual self or do you want his walls to crash and burn? I'm leaning more towards the latter but if people wanna see normal Matt, they'll most probably get normal Matt :)

Think it over if you want and please leave it in a review or send me a message because I'm really interested in what direction the readers would like to see the story head in. I've got ideas for how both would play out, but I'm still kinda on the fence XD

Next chapter??  
You might want to expect some Near. Weather you love or hate the guy, he won't be doing anything too terrible, I think. Besides, this Near _will_ be OOC. Sorry if you like him the way he is in canon but whatever, there is a reason :)


	3. Chapter 3

AN- Ohhh I forgot to mention this, but there will be spoilers for everybody's real names etc but to be honest, if you don't know their names by now, you might as well learn 'em. And there might be other spoilers but I can't think of anything in particular right now, so I'll leave it at that.

Yayyy chapter three :) Sorry for the delay, enjoy!

* * *

Matt stares at the doors dumbly for a long moment before mentally kicking himself and pushing them open. The room's occupants glance up briefly, making the gamer's breath catch, fully expecting them to start firing questions all over the place.

They don't. Light turns back to L to continue his conversation about whatever case they're on to now, and Mello simply takes a chunk out of his chocolate with a snap. Matt is understandably shocked, but tries not to let it show in his face. He heads towards the sofas where Mello is, knowing he's acting like a loyal puppy returning to its owner but not caring, because it's how he's always been. Besides, his PSP is on the sofa.

The redhead carefully scoops up his PSP and takes a seat opposite the blond, who has yet to speak. His heart is beating because he doesn't know what to expect, and he really should because this is _Mello _and he prides himself in being one of the few who can truly read him.

He's beaten this game twice already, so there isn't much to distract him from conjuring up crazy ideas about how slowly the chocolate addict can kill him. The gamer reaches 'ways to die via spork' when Mello eventually speaks, making his train of thought abruptly stop. "What in the name of God are you wearing?"

Matt has to force himself not to glance up at the blond, but he can't help the way his thumbs freeze for a second, making his character on screen cry out as an enemy attacks him. What…? His clothes… Oh.

As the clogs in his brain slowly start to move again, he manages to formulate a reply. "My other clothes are messed up. I didn't pay attention to what I grabbed… Why, do I look bad?" He asks sounding distracted when really his whole attention is on the blond across from him.

Mello hums and takes another bite out of his chocolate, "I wouldn't say bad, exactly. You just look fucking weird, I didn't know you owned anything that looked like it belongs in Light's closet." Something about the blonde's tone sounds off, so Matt glances up at him behind his goggles. Mello isn't looking at him, he's staring up at the ceiling with his brow furrowed in thought.

He whips his gaze back to his game when blue eyes turn to look at him, "Why are you wearing the goggles anyway? They don't go with anything you're wearing. They look stupid." The redhead visibly starts at the question.

"…I like them." He replies weakly. "I never knew you are such a fashion queen, Mel." He's trying to change the subject, to get Mello to snap at him, but the blond ignores the jab.

"I can't tell what you're thinking with them on. It's annoying, take them off." The blond demands, putting his feet up on the table between them and narrowing his eyes dangerously.

Matt has found himself at a crossroads. What the hell can he do? To disobey Mello wouldn't be his normal reaction, especially over something as stupid as his goggles. But if he takes them off, his black eye…

He has to make a decision, and fast too. He knows he should be able to talk himself out of this, but his mind is in too much of a mess right now to form anything coherent. With his heart beating a mile a minute, the gamer reluctantly shuts off his game, because the screen has been flashing a Game Over for over a minute now, and throws it beside him on the couch.

He plasters a fake smile on his face as he moves to take off the accessory, "We both know what's under here, it's obvious by the way you're acting. And I know whatever I say won't be believed by you, but I honestly did fall y' know." The goggles are gone now, and Mello silently stares at his face, so the gamer throws his goggles over to the blondes couch. He's itching once again for a cigarette, but refuses to move under the gaze of the older.

"Nice shiner. There's fags on the tray by the way." The blond is still staring at him, and Matt gets a sinking feeling that without his goggles protecting his eyes, he's like an open book to the older teen. "I'm going to work. Are you going _there_ today? Even after your 'fall' I mean."

The gamer leans over to snatch the packet from the trolley Watari must have fetched, glad the conversation has turned to safer topics. Well… sort of. "Yeah, I said I would didn't I? I'll head over in a bit, just need to make sure I've wrapped up stuff here." He smiles, taking a fag from the box.

"I have told Matt before not to smoke in here." L states, not even looking up from his computer. Matt pouts at the hunched over back, but nonetheless he doesn't light up, clicking his lighter and putting it back in his pants pocket.

"I don't see how that's fair. You addicts get to have _your_ fix, yet you deny me of my own? That's harsh." He whines, internally beaming that no one has mentioned his black eye or interrogated him. Light turns to smirk smugly at L,

"See? I'm not the only one who knows you guys need some serious help. I for one, have no such annoying addiction." L turns blankly to the brunet.

"Light talks as if he has no flaws to speak of. Would he like a list? I could write one out if he wishes, and because of his OCD tendencies, I'll even use alphabetical order." Matt blinked. Was L smirking? And… _bantering_?

"Mello. It's Armageddon, or a conspiracy. The world's greatest detective has been replaced with an alien double that knows how to smile." He deadpans, earning a smirk from the blond. The gamer's heart flutters at the expression, but he puts it down to being happy Mello is apparently no longer mad at him. L's smirk is gone, but the traces of it are still there, and he actually looks surprised the other two are watching them intently.

"I believe Matt has other places to be. And Mello needs to stop slacking and help."

"Yeah right. That case's easy, you don't need my input, you know who's done it, and you're just getting the evidence that'll hold in court." The blond drawls, getting himself a new chocolate bar. Matt moves from his place on the sofa over to the computer he had been working at hours before beside Light.

The window he had been on is still up, glowing faintly at him. He had been the one compiling evidence against the suspect, and apparently no one has bothered getting it from his system. They seem to be under the impression that he'll hurt them if they touch his technology – and he probably would have, but that's not the point.

He sends the files to Light's computer beside him, while the man watches him. With that done, Matt starts to shut down all his other files and sign out, when Light decides to make small talk. "How is he anyway?" He leans on his elbow beside the gamer.

"Good." He replies, "Interested in you, actually." The brunet makes a noise of acknowledgement, so Matt continues. "He said he wouldn't mind meeting the 'person of equal standing as L'."

"That I may be, intellectually. But socially we aren't of equal standing at all." Surprisingly, this isn't said angrily as Matt expected. Just like Light was… resigned to the fact he will never be the famous 'great detective'. The redhead raises an eyebrow at the older man, knowing the brunet will take it as the silent 'what the fuck' that it was. Light ignores him though, turning back to his computer to read through his new evidence files.

"Well, I'm off then. Mind if I take your limo L?" He asks, standing from his computer.

"Feel free to use it. Matt would have anyway, despite my answer." Big black eyes turn to look at him briefly before returning to his work, "Watari should be down there already. Give my regards."

Matt nods and starts towards the doors, before changing his mind and making a detour to the trolley. He grabs the bottle of fizzy pop there, since he hasn't eaten or drank anything for hours now. Mello has yet to move from the sofas, and now he watches the redhead intently.

"You sure you don't want to come Mel?" He asks, although they both already know the answer.

"Not today. Cases to solve, shit-heads to catch, you know the drill. I don't have the free time to go skipping off whenever I feel like it, unfortunately." He says as he gets up and finally goes back to his place on the other side of L. Matt takes the jab in his stride, used to Mello wanting to flaunt how busy and important he is at any given movement.

"Ok, see you later." He mutters. And with that, he leaves the room, taking his bottle with him. He practically skips down the hallways, just on the off chance Mello sees him on the ca… the redhead come to a stop in front of the elevator.

Cameras. Mello might see him on the… cameras. He frowns at the metal doors, making no move to press the button to board them. Why does something feel important…? Unconsciously, acid green eyes wander up to the nearest camera, one in the corner to the right of the elevator.

Camera… His eyes go glazed over in thought, but he's not coming up with anything important about cameras. Did he need to fix any? No. Was he supposed to hack in to surveillance somewhere? Not that he knew of…

After a few more seconds of coming up blank, Matt shrugs and jams his thumb into the down button. It can't be too important if he can't remember it, right? Right. After descending, he confidently strolls out the elevator and towards the front of the building, where Watari is waiting.

"Thanks, you know you don't have to do that. It's weird." He says awkwardly when the old man opens the door for him. It just feels strange to have the man who technically brought him in and previously paid for all expenses concerning his upbringing open a car door for him like a butler.

Watari just smiles like he _isn't _a millionaire/billionaire (no one can be certain nowadays) and closes the door on him. Matt realises with a groan that he doesn't have any games consoles with him to fight boredom, so he whips out his unlit fag from the box and lights it with a flick of his wrist, since Watari has never expressed a dislike of him smoking in the limo.

The drive is pretty silent, and the redhead can tell that Watari is trying to respect his privacy and not ask as to where he's been. He's glad for that, but at the same time… he could almost picture himself spilling out all the nasty truths if the kindly old man coaxes him. Well, it's probably a good thing that the Englishman hasn't then, he muses to himself.

The building they are driving up to now isn't overly large, height-wise. It's pure white and only has about 5 or 6 stories on it, but Matt knows from experience that it stretches quite far backwards.

They pull up in front of the doors of the hospital and Watari moves to open his door again, but Matt beats him to it before he can even get out of the limo. "Stop it. Please."

The old man looks a bit shocked, and Matt figures it must be because he's so used to handling the black haired detective that he did all these things on reflex now, since L defiantly didn't bother doing anything too straining. Then he smiles and speaks, "Ok Matt. You know… if anything is bothering you –anything at all – you _can_ talk to me, I'm just a phone call away." His honest concern makes a lump form in the gamer's throat, because even though he knows the others are concerned too… Watari just has this grandfatherly aura about him that makes you want to sit down with him in front of a fire on old furniture and confide all your secrets. Something the orphans at Wammy's never actually got to have.

It is, to say the least, a bit disconcerting. He nods jerkily, "Thanks. Erm, I'm not sure how long I'll be, so…" The sentence trails off.

"Ring me when you need picking up, I won't be less than five minutes." Watari responds. Matt grins at him and slams the door, waving as the sleek limo pulls away and disappears down the road. He finishes his cigarette and stomps it out on the ground.

The redhead turns and enters the front door of the hospital, to be greeted by stark white cleanliness all around. Quite a few people are sitting in the seats to the right of the door, but he bypasses them without so much as a glance. At the desk straight ahead of him, a pretty young girl with her brunet hair pulled up in a bun is typing at the computer and talking on the phone simultaneously. She glances up at his approach and breaks out into a smile, waving at him in a gesture his guesses translates that he's to wait a minute while she wraps up whatever she's doing.

"Ok…ok, yes that's fine. I have to go now… ok thank you, we'll have that done as soon as possible. Bye." She finishes up and puts the phone back in the receiver, stopping her typing to turn her attention to the waiting teen. "Matty! Long time no see kiddo, how you been?" She beams.

Matt smiles at the nickname, leaning slightly on the countertop, "Hey, Suuki (1). I'm fine. You know, same old, same old." He lies, "How about you? Doing good with that new fitness program?" She laughs at the mention,

"I sure am! It's _really_ fun you know - healthy too. You should try it out with me sometime Matty, we could have a right laugh!" The gamer gives his own small laugh.

"I'll hold you to that one Suu. Anyway, enough of this small talk, you letting me in or what?" He grins as she turns to type a few things into the computer to administer the teen. "Thanks."

She waves her hand dismissively, handing him a visitor's pass to hang around his neck. Brown eyes narrow as they inspect his face for a moment, before widening in realisation, "Where are your goggles? I've never seen you without them. And what happened to your face? AND WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?"

He winces at the mention of the black eye, hand reaching up to poke it again idly. He had forgotten that he isn't wearing his goggles, having thrown them beside Mello without thinking. Oops. "I accidentally left them at home. My clothes fell in a pile of mud. And…" Matt does something stupid. Matt says the first thing that pops into his head. "… Mello hit me."

Both pairs of eyes widened in shock at what he said. _Mello hit me? What the FUCK Matt? Why is your brain not WORKING today? Shit. Fix it._

"I mean - he didn't _hit_ me, exactly." Worried eyes bore into his, expecting an explanation, and fast. "We were having a… wrestle. And he accidentally… elbowed me in the face. Don't worry though! I kicked him in the balls, so we're even. He's limping everywhere, but then he got me back… and I'm… limping… too?" He trails off, as _something_ seems to click in the young secretaries mind, making her leer.

"Mmhmm, 'wrestling'," she makes quotation marks with her fingers, "was it? Hey, isn't Mello that blond with the leather?" Her eyes gleam when he nods, "thought so. He should come by more often; you guys are a right pair. He seemed the kind to like it rough. Wrestling I mean."

Ok, now he's confused. She bought that? His confusion must show on his face, because Suuki giggles and shakes her head at him, "Anyway, you need to get your butt out of here and let me work, go it?"

"Uh, right ok. Later, Suu." He says, giving a weak wave before hauling his arse down the corridor. He slows to a stop on an empty hallway, letting himself lean against one of the whitewashed walls. He honestly needs to get it together! It might not seem like he's acting _much_ different than usual, especially to people that he doesn't know _amazingly_ well, like Suuki. But to the people closest to him, will he be acting normally? Will he hell. They noticed slightly at headquarters, he's sure. And…

Yeah. He'll notice. The redhead sighs and continues his trip, cursing the fact everyone he knows are too smart for their own good. He passes few people on the way to the correct room, but he pays them no mind as they do the same.

He finally arrives at the private room, pushing the door open without a second thought. The room is just as white as the rest of the hospital, but there are a few posters the inhabitant has put up to make it just that bit more personal.

Said inhabitant is sitting up on the bed placed in the middle of the left wall, one leg has been pulled to his chest and the white sheets are pooled at the end of the bed. The boy looks younger than he is in his oversized white shirt and pants and with his big black eyes that are eerily similar to that of the greatest detective on earth. One hand is idly twirling a piece of pure white curls atop the teen's head, while the other is working on the puzzle board on the bed in front of him.

Matt smiles when the boy pauses in what he's doing and turns his gaze to the newcomer. "What's up Near?" He asks as he moves into the room and to the chair on the other side of the bed.

Near just watches him, confusing the redhead. "What is it?" He asks, feeling uneasy at the other's examination. A slender hand moves away from his puzzle to point directly at Matt's left eye, making the gamer blink. Oh great, is this going to happen every time he sees a new person? "Ah, my eye." Near nods and tilts his head to the side.

"Is that why you are late today?" He asks in a soft voice. Matt just nods because he really doesn't want to think about it right now, and he needs a distraction. Near seems to sense his reluctance to talk about his eye, and stomps down on any niggling curiosity, nodding back.

Good old Near. He respects Matt's privacy in a weird way.

Conversation dissolves fairly quickly, mostly due to Matt's answers being painfully short and forcibly cheery. He's trying his best, but his thoughts keep cutting off in the middle of his sentences. It is better to keep silent than to talk when he has no idea what he is talking about.

"Hey, I spoke to Light about meeting you," the redhead remembers, "I think he'd be as interested in you as you are in him. I'll try and bribe L into letting him visit. Controlling bastard." Near doesn't particularly like anyone talking down about L, but he's strangely indulgent of Matt's loose tongue.

"You think so?" The albino seems to brighten at the mention of visitors, "but I would have nothing to talk to Yagami-san about." The younger male is one of the only people Matt knows that bothers with the honorific. It must have rubbed off on him from being in Japan for so long.

Not that the gamer doesn't use an honorific for strangers. But this is _Light_. After all, even L doesn't bother with it anymore. That thought makes him freeze for a second, wondering when exactly the detective _did_ stop using 'Light-kun', but he stops the train of thought before it can develop. He'll think about it later.

"Near stop being an idiot. There's plenty you and Light can talk about, the guy can't get enough of his own voice for Christ's sake! Oh and if he does come, be sure you don't have any mirrors about; he simply adores his own face." He tries to keep his voice light (2) to combat Near's worry. Anyone else probably wouldn't see anything different about the albino's appearance, but Matt spends enough time here now to notice the subtle ways Near lets his emotions through.

"Besides, if you run out of things to talk about – which you won't – just let him come up with something. He's a little social butterfly, is our Light. And it's not like he gets out much anymore, not without L within a 5-foot radius, anyway." Matt punches Near lightly in the arm, "cheer up fluff ball."

The albino's small smile is equivalent to one of Mello's face-splitting grins. "I see your point. Would you please ask L if they could come down for a visit someday? As long as their work isn't interrupted."

"Work? Oh _please_. Hobby is a more appropriate word for what _they_ do." Both teens laugh at this, "Hell, even the Great Mello-sama is digging around for a challenging case." He adds as an afterthought.

"And what about you Matt? You're number two after all. From what I've managed to gather, you and Mello don't have a huge gap in intelligence." It still feels kind of weird to be called second. Mello never gets sick of being titled first though.

"I guess… I don't really know. I just do what they tell me and offer my opinion when asked." He shrugs. "I've never been in this race for any reason other than Mello." He gives a sheepish grin at his own words.

It's not exactly common knowledge that Matt only worked to achieve being third at Wammy's so Mello would give him the time of day. He suspects L knows, because he knows _everything_. On that note, Light might know too.

Mello is questionable. Matt can't tell if the blond knows, or if he just takes Matt for granted and underestimates him. It doesn't matter either way – the gamer would never dream of trying to best the older teen.

Black eyes study him silently, reminding the redhead of L again. "Definitely a unique relationship you two share. Makes me feel strangely jealous." After speaking, Near turns back to his puzzle blankly.

Matt digests this for a minute, unthinkingly turning his gaze to the puzzle as well. Both teens sit deep in their thoughts for a few minutes, neither speaking.

It's when a nurse enters that they both break out of it. She has a tray of food for the patient, making Matt wonder wildly what time it is. How long has been here? He doesn't even know what time it was when he arrived. He asks the nurse if she knows the time and she informs him it's 6pm.

"That late?!" He exclaims, jumping up. "Oh god, Watari is still out somewhere in the car. I can't believe I left him this long." The redhead turns to Near as he continues, "I really should get back, there has been enough worry over me today." He points absently at his eye in explanation, grimacing. "I'll talk to L when I get back, later Near."

"Thank you." He smiles slightly as his visitor walks around his bed and to the door, "I hope to see you soon. Remember you're just as capable as any of the others."

"Yeah, yeah." He says as he leaves the room. "You used to be too…" He mumbles to himself, certain the other can't hear.

The genius makes his way down the corridors to the main entrance, sliding out of the way of patients and doctors as he goes. It's only when he gets outside and flips open his phone that Matt remembers his battery died and he has no money on him. The mere thought of walking back in the semi-darkness alone is enough to send the gamer straight back through the glass doors.

_Ok, ok – no need to hyperventilate now Matty. _He thinks, walking back up to the front desk, where Suuki is apparently getting ready to leave her shift. The redhead forces an apologetic smile onto his face when she glances up and notices him.

"Hey Suu. Would you mind if I borrowed your phone for like, a second? I'm fresh out of money and without a ride." He pats his pockets in emphasis of his lack of money.

She grins in reply, "Go for it, my replacement won't be here for a few more minutes anyway." She hands him the receiver and twists the phone so he can punch in Watari's number. He makes a mental note to delete the phone records later.

Right now though, he _really_ wants a cheeseburger. Surely Watari won't mind stopping somewhere on the way…

* * *

(1) Random made up OC ftw? Well, I couldn't picture anyone else with the job, so you get Suuki.

(2) Pun not intended. Seriously.

Ok, I'll end it here for this chapter. It _was_ going to go on longer but I'm about to pass out from lack of sleep and this chapter is sort of late anyway. I have no excuse, only that it's the Christmas holidays and I am extremely lazy. I only managed to get this chapter done because I'm avoiding homework. Again.

I'd love you forever if you give me some feedback XDDDD

Near was weird to write because I don't like him. I like _my_ Near kinda, but I can't tell if I've made him too OOC. Not that it really matters, since I have an explanation for everything, but I'm curious. And Matt's an emotional roller coaster isn't he :) Awww sorry Matt, you'll stabilise in your own little way soon enough.


	4. Chapter 4

AN- THIS IS SO LATE AND I'M SORRY. School's a bitch. And procrastination, but shhh.

Oh and I was thinking about it, and couldn't really think of what year this is set in. 2009? Well whatever, from now on, we'll go with that. And yes, I totally screwed up the DN storyline, but I had to, to be honest. Or did you _want _everyone to die the way they do in canon? Yeah, I thought not.

I'd like to thank all you all for reviews/faves/alerts because it's only after I re-read them when I've hit a dead end that I motivate myself to write the next chapter XD

* * *

Matt hums a tune as he switches on his computer, keeping a small smile in place as his desktop flashes back to life. He has to delete those phone records before his fractured attention span causes him to forget.

He had barely glanced at the others when he returned, not trusting himself without his goggles and feeling stupidly self-conscious without them. L and Light were arguing again, the redhead estimating that it will only be a few moments before the fight turns physical.

As he hacks the hospital mainframe, Matt hears the first punch connect. He turns then, if only to see who had snapped first. It is L this time, strangely enough. Light flies backwards into the redhead from the force of the hit, colliding with the side of his chair with a grunt.

The rolling chair topples over from the weight, taking both men with it. A cry of pain rips itself from Matt's throat as his battered body connects with the ground and gets sandwiched underneath Light.

The brunet quickly removes himself when he hears the sound, pushing to his feet as Matt tries to scramble out from under him. The redhead ignores the apology Light is giving, trying to get his breathing under control and block out the pain that has blossomed anew.

"I'm fine." He gasps out, pushing up with his arms so he's on his knees. "Just… give me a minute."

L is crouching beside him before he's even finished speaking, "I'm sorry Matt. I did not mean stir up any pains from Matt's previous… fall." He holds out a hand and the redhead reluctantly takes the offering, pulling himself to a stand.

"It's fine, 's fine L. I would have smacked him one too." A weak attempt at a smile as he rights his chair. He grits his teeth against the flash of pain when he lowers himself back into it. "No harm done." He finishes in a murmur, resuming his typing at a slower rate.

After a few beats, the detectives both move back to their respective seats without so much as a word to each other. As his computer searches for the right date and time, Matt remembers his burger. He picks it up from beside the monitor, grimacing at how cold it's gotten.

Oh well. He hasn't eaten all day; it's not going to kill him. He eats idly, watching the screen without seeing it. Now that he isn't really doing anything, his mind is wandering. He finds himself thinking about Mello.

The blond hasn't so much as sent a glance his way since his return. Has his anger resurfaced then? Or is he just engrossed in his work too much to care when his best friend is dragged into one of L and Light's little spats? That sounds more like Mello…

Green eyes find themselves fixing in on the nineteen-year-old, three seats along from him. The blond _seems_ to be working his butt off. His fingers are tapping away rapidly at the keys in front of him, and his icy blue gaze is zeroed in on the screen.

Matt crumples up the empty wrapping and dumps it in the bin to his right. His program has found the right date and so he expertly works his way through the list of times...

Ah, there he is. It's easy to get rid of the number recorded now and with that done, the redhead finds himself hopelessly bored. He stares blankly at his desktop, refusing to think about anything.

Since he isn't thinking about anything, it comes as a surprise when his fingers begin their dance across the keyboard again. He snaps out of it when he realises he's hacked into Japan's police mainframe.

_Well, I've got nothing better to do…_ He muses, scrolling through the most recent crimes for something fairly challenging. Robberies, murders, missing persons–

- Rapists…

The mere thought makes Matt feel sick. The amount of cases of that nature makes his heart beat wildly – this is another reason he doesn't see a point in reporting what happened. What difference will it make? All the people on this list, all these victims, not one of them has had the person behind their attacks caught.

The redhead scrolls the list, thinking deeply. Until the others need him, he might as well solve a few of these crimes… If he can't get payment back for what happened to him, he can at least put some of these criminals behind bars. Maybe even all of them.

A grin steals over Matt's face as his resolve hardens. He will clean up Japan of these monsters, maybe then he can branch out to other countries too… no it doesn't matter. If it comes to that, he'll deal with it then, right now he'll just get though these one at a time.

* * *

"Matt, you coming or what?"

The gamer's head shoots up at the voice. "Huh?"

Mello rolls his eyes at his best friend, standing with his hands on his hips behind the redhead's chair. "It's eleven. We normally head upstairs now, get your head out of the clouds." Matt blinks and checks the time on his computer. Had he really spent five hours solving his way down that list? Wow…

"Sorry, I was on a roll." He murmurs, "I don't want to go to bed yet." He whines, pouting up at the blond.

He's managed to get down case notes for quite a few of the cases on the list - the easier ones at least. He has pinned down 3 of the culprits using data found on the files alone, and has 5 more suspects whom he just needs to find evidence for.

Not a bad haul for number two.

"Stop it with the puppy look. Geeze it's like having my own pet." Mello smirks, tilting his head to the side. Without another word, Matt switches off the computer and dutifully follows the blond across the room. "What are you even doing on that thing anyway?" He asks.

"Working."

Mello snorts, "I know _that_. You had your work face on." The redhead raises an eyebrow, choosing not to question Mello on his 'work face'. After a few beats of silence, Mello makes an agitated noise in the back of his throat. "_Well?_"

Matt sighs, deciding to tell the truth – or at least some of it, "I was just thinking-"

"Oh Hell."

"-Yeah yeah shocker, I know. Anyway, I was thinking about how we only take on 'big' cases." Mello frowns,

"Of course. Only the interesting stuff for the best." He states like it's obvious – which to the rest of them it probably is. Matt nods absently.

"And there's four of us. L used to do solve all the cases in the world _on his own_. It took him longer than it does nowadays, but he still did it. So, with you three doing whatever the hell you want, I figured I'd just focus on Japan for a bit."

Mello's still frowning as they walk, "But… _why?_ It's boring. All the cases are _easy_. Even on your own you've probably made loads of progress. And why Japan? We have no connection to this country unless you count Light, and even he doesn't seem to care much for it here." The redhead feels something in his chest hurt… badly. He's being stupid, he knows, but when Mello talks like that… it's so unfair. He knows the way the blond thinks, he's selfish and biased so all the victims mean nothing to him, not unless their case is 'interesting'…

_His_ case wasn't interesting.

"Well, we live here don't we? We don't know how long we'll be here; this might become our headquarters forever. Might as well clean up the streets of scum." Green eyes stare ahead as the doors of the elevator open onto their floor. "You don't need me to help with your cases, and if you do, you know I'll be happy to help."

He can feel the blonds' eyes burning into the side of his face, but doesn't acknowledge them. It's only at his door that Mello speaks up again, his tone forcibly light. "Fair enough Matt, I see your point. You might want to start off with robberies or assaults. Actually, go with assaults, by a majority there's more of them, and they won't catch our attention as much as murders might. They'll be easier to solve too."

The redhead stares at him in shock. Well that was lucky, now he had an excuse for only working on rape cases. Matt smiles brightly, his eyes crinkling at the edges, "thanks Mel. I'll keep it in mind. Night, sleep tight." He waves slightly as he heads to his door on the right of Mello's.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite." The gamer chuckles at the blonds' murmur and closes his door.

He flicks on his light and surveys the room. His double bed (he would have just had a single, but L had already had all the doubles put in… no one questioned him) is pushed up against the back wall with a desk on either side holding enough computing equipment to make a hacker swoon.

This hacker however, has grown used to his beautiful electronics and is over his swooning stage – now instead he just grins in anticipation. He quickly rids himself of his unfamiliar shirt and jeans, then remembers he's gone commando and fetches some underwear for bed.

Of course, he has no intention of sleeping anytime soon. He has been passed out for the best part of the day, and despite how mentally exhausted he is, the redhead knows his body probably won't sleep for quite a while. So instead he picks his orange laptop up off one of the desks, unplugging the random USB's.

He gets comfy on his bed, legs crossed and laptop sitting comfortably in front of him. As the device boots up, Matt reaches up to remove his goggles from where they're sitting atop his head. He realises when his hand just ends up clutching at air that he doesn't actually _have _his goggles. Mello does. He pouts at the thought of what Mello might have done to his babies – ripping and burning spring to mind – but quickly brushes the thought away.

Before he sends the case notes with enough proof to put his criminals in jail to the police, Matt figures he should probably tell L what he's going to be doing. The man _is _technically his boss, even if it hasn't been outright said.

He opens up an email, making a mental note to install some instant messaging system later for convenience, and starts typing.

_L,_

_I don't know if you'll want to know, but what the hell, I'll tell you anyway so you can't bitch at me. I've decided to work my way through as many cases in Japan as I can. I suppose you could call it a new hobby – or goal? Whatever._

_Either way, I've decided to work through sexual assaults first (Mello's idea) and I've gotten a few solved already, but haven't sent them off to the police yet. I'm going to be introducing myself to them as one of your associates, that way they'll take me seriously._

_If you need me for any of your cases (which I doubt) I'll do whatever you need. I know you'll tell me to anyway, but it's the thought that counts mate ;)_

_Matt._

_PS. I'm going to download MSN for our computers because email sucks._

The email is sent to the detective still in the investigation room downstairs. Matt wonders if he should make himself a cool sign like L has his old-English letter. He would do an M, but Mello has already used that before in certain cases, so it wouldn't feel right. He could use Near's alias, since the albino is in no position to use it himself, but the thought of people calling _him _Near is just damn creepy.

While he is thinking, the redhead sets to work hacking into the police mainframe from his own laptop. It's considerably harder than using the computers downstairs, because he doesn't have the programs installed that L uses to hack his way across the world.(1)

Also, he's hoping to get himself into the nice big screen he's seen in their investigation room, but to do that he has to _find_ the computer it's hooked up to and wiggle his way in. If he can do that, he'll make his debut tomorrow when the police are all gathered in there. Then he'll have their resources and ideas on the cases.

And come on, he'll look fucking awesome on that big screen. He'll feel all L-y.

Halfway through a tricky firewall, Matt's laptop makes a noise to tell him he's gotten an email. He stops what he's doing in favour of reading L's reply.

_Matt,_

_I do not bitch._

_I give you my permission to use my alias whenever the need arises; I believe I am on good terms with the Japanese police, so they should accept you fairly easily. _

_I do not know what you wish to gain with this new hobby, but I agree that sexual assaults may be easier to deal with than murders. Not that it should affect Matt anyway, since he is one of my successors._

_We will let Matt know if we need his computing expertise, but I'm positive that between us, Mello, Light and I can handle it ourselves._

_I do not think 'MSN' is necessary, as I do not know what it is. Light finds this fact hilarious. I do not._

_L._

Matt laughs at L's idiocy. It is to be expected really, with MSN being a social tool and L being a social recluse. Didn't stop it from being hilarious though. After getting over his little giggle fit, the redhead sends a quick reply that doesn't explain to L what MSN is (like it is obvious L wants him to).

He turns back to his firewall and gets through it in less than five minutes flat.

For the next few hours, Matt slowly but surely breaks his way through every single protection the Japanese Police have to offer him. It was no easy task - especially since he knows L has recently helped with security on a whim - but that is what made it all the more fun for the hacker.

Eventually though, the redhead's eyelids begin to droop. He tries to fight off the fatigue for as long as he can, but he knows he is fighting a losing battle. Finally, he gives up with a whine and puts his laptop on stand-by.

Matt drags himself over to the light to switch it off, and then sluggishly clambers beneath his covers with a sigh. He snuggles his way into his pillow, taking a deep breath to relax his still-aching muscles. He's too tired to think about the day's events like he had feared he might, instead his mind is _finally _shutting down.

The redhead is asleep within minutes.

* * *

_It's so cold…_

He's running. Running so fast that his breath is coming in short pants, little clouds that hit his face as he runs through them.

_But it's so warm…_

Someone is following him. He knows they're following him, even if he can't hear their footfalls. They're not going to stop. They'll never stop.

_The cold is there - freezing to the bone – but the heat is even more overwhelming._

He can't even tell where he is. Maybe it's a deserted street? No… it's too much like a maze.

_It's engulfing like flames that lick at skin and hair and clothes._

Is it raining? Or is it sweat? He can't even tell anymore, everything is numb and way too sensitive at the same time.

_Hair that is messed and dirty with more than just mud – clothes that are torn and barely hanging off aching limbs._

They're catching up. He still cannot hear them, but he **knows** they're closer than before. How many? He doesn't know… It doesn't matter! They're **coming.**

_Sobs are ripping from an already overused throat, changing and morphing into small screams._

Now there's a sound. Screams. Quiet at first, but building, building, building-! Who? Who is the person whose yells send such tremors through his body?

_Feet stumble and catch on nonexistent obstacles, but the runner doesn't notice, too wrapped up in their own freezing fire._

The world is moving, like he's drunk, tilting and spinning and falling all at once. But he's not had alcohol has he? No. Why won't those screams just **stop?**

_The runner's screams increase as their feet pick up the pace, salty tears bursting anew from wide eyes._

Screaming. Screams. Screamer. Who? Who? **Who?**

_Now frenzied…_

**Him.**

* * *

He's screaming as he wakes up in a cold sweat. Someone is standing above him and unthinkingly, Matt thrashes out at the intruder. "Whoa, whoa!" The figure jumps back, putting their hands in the air, "Matt! It's me, idiot!"

"M-Mello…?" He doesn't even cringe when his voice cracks, in too much shock at hearing his friend's voice.

"Yeah." The blond walks cautiously back towards the bed, sitting gingerly on the edge. "I heard you… shouting in your sleep." Matt is shaking badly now as memories of the dream come flooding back, "H-hey, calm down!"

The redhead's hands move upwards to grip at Mello's dressing gown and he keeps his head angled down at the covers so his hair falls in front of his eyes. Tears are still falling and small sobs are tearing through his body. Mello doesn't seem to know what to do, but Matt can't bring himself to stop as he buries his head into his friend's shoulder.

He cries into Mello's clothed shoulder, moving his arms so the wrap around the other's smaller body. He clings to him tightly, afraid that the blond will disappear if he gives him the chance. He refuses to give him that chance.

He feels a pair of arms encircle him, burying his face closer to Mello's neck automatically. The blond tenses up when he moves but quickly relaxes again, holding the redhead close in an attempt at comfort.

A few minutes pass until Matt's cries simmer down into the occasional sniffle. He reluctantly untangles himself from Mello, rubbing hard at his face to get rid of the tear tracks. "…'M sorry." He murmurs, refusing to look the blond in the eye.

"Don't be stupid. Nothing to be sorry about." His friend's voice is only slightly louder than his own. Matt coughs slightly to try and clear the lump in his throat.

"What time is it…?" He asks as he takes in the dark room though half-lidded eyes. The redhead's mind is slowly coming back into focus, and he feels a wave of exhaustion wash over him.

"3 am, more or less." Mello smirks weakly when Matt grimaces. He has only been asleep for about an hour! Jesus… He looks at the blond in concern,

"I'm sorry you got so little sleep." He apologises, a pang of guilt hitting hard to add to all the other negative feelings coursing through his veins. Mello scowls at the apology - apparently irritated that his friend is trying to steer the subject away from himself.

"I got more than L, now stop apologising." He reprimands. "Well, we're up now. Might as well get downstairs…" Mello is still looking intently at the redhead as he trails off, but Matt has no clue what it is the blond is even looking for. Or he just doesn't want to think about it.

So he just avoids his eyes and moves to get up from the bed. "Sure. I've got to bring my laptop though, to connect myself properly into the system and-"

"Yeah, yeah," he waves a hand in dismissal, "don't get into all your shit, it's too damn early." Matt snorts; glad the other isn't pressing him about his dream, even if the awkwardness is almost tangible. "Now get your arse dressed will you? Your all sweaty."

Is he _blushing_? Matt does a double take, but the blond has already turned around and is walking over to the door. "Okay…?" He raises an eyebrow, "I just need a shower first though. I'll try not to be too long," the redhead smiles at his friend's back.

Mello lets out an irritated sigh as he leaves the room, "Whatever."

Matt lets his expression fall once the blond is absent, dragging himself over to his closet and making sure to pick out his spare striped T-shirt and pants, pouting slightly because he doesn't have a coat like his ruined one. Oh well, he might get one online later. He _liked _that coat damn it.

After realising again that Mello has his goggles hostage somewhere, the gamer gives up his fruitless search for the accessory and leaves his room for the shower.

He felt dirty again.

* * *

(1) All references to computers/hacking whatever ARE TOTAL BULL. I have no idea how to do half the stuff Matt goes on about, I just make it SOUND like it's right. :) (Pretend it sounds smart?)

**I should also point out that** **no I don't think sexual assaults are easy to solve. Jesus Christ, if they were we would live in a nicer world. But to those guys, it might be a bit easier because they are geniuses. I don't know, it made sense when I wrote it. No, it might not make much sense but OH WELL. Deal with it.**

_R&R Do ittttttt._


	5. Chapter 5

AN- I decided to be a bit accurate. So I read up on the symptoms rape victims get. Jesus, never thought I'd have to _that_.

So yeah, I've tried to get some of the things mentioned there into Matt, but it won't be all of them because I'm trying to keep Matt not-too-traumatised. Some things might have people like 'but rape victims wouldn't do THAT' and to those people I say… sod off. I can't write TOO much angst, or writing this will get too depressing. XD

Which is probably why some things seem random or slightly-crack-y. I'M TOO JOYFULL FOR AN ANGST-FESTTTTT.

* * *

Ok, so maybe he is avoiding Mello… a bit…

It's not _his_ fault! After scrubbing himself raw in the shower again, Matt had come down to the investigation room, all smiles and rainbows (ha, right) to discover that _Mello has __**no**__ sense of personal space._

Now, this shouldn't be a big deal, since after growing up with the bipolar blond, the gamer has gotten used to having people randomly dive across him while in the middle of a game to reach chocolate and/or research papers. So it's not like it was a huge _surprise_ to have Mello decide to lounge across the sofa with his legs on the redhead's knees.

But still… it made him feel anxious. He doesn't want the feeling of being trapped, no matter how slight this feeling is. So he'd shoved the offending leather-clad legs off him and went over to his computer.

Where he is now. Stressing.

_It's MELLO for Christ's sake. He's not going to r-do anything like that. Get a freaking GRIP Matt._

The redhead curses inwardly at his idiocy. Of course he knows Mello has no interest in him that way at all. He could laugh at the mere thought! Mello probably isn't even gay. Hell, Mello probably isn't even straight.

But Mello's questionable sexuality is not the point. The point is, the gamer thinks he's being stupid, and he needs to get over himself so he can concentrate on other people's problems. Yes. That'll get him over everything.

"Matt." Comes a voice to his left. The redhead jumps a mile and turns wide-eyed to look at the interrupter. Light raises an eyebrow curiously. "You've been staring at that screen for five minutes now." Green eyes blink in shock as he glances back at the screen displaying a list of rape cases.

"Oh." He says, "my bad." He clicks on a random case and starts reading in a daze. He's still exhausted from his one hour of sleep, but refuses to go to bed. It's not like he'd sleep anyway.

Mello's voice floats over to him from the sofas, doing a bad impression of a cheerleader. "What's Matt? GORM-LESS! What's Matt? GORM-LESS!"

The gamer aimlessly throws an empty bottle at the chanting blond, without moving his eyes from the screen. It's no surprise when the plastic clatters against the floor five feet to Mello's right, making him snort and mutter his rhyme again.

"What's Mello? LA-ZY. Wh-"

"Will you two stop it?" L interrupts, irritation clear in his tone, "you're giving me a headache with your constant bickering."

"Hypocrite." Light snorts.

Sensing an upcoming argument _again_, Matt decides to try and defuse the situation. "Ok, we'll stop, we'll stop. Erm…" Great, where have his persuasion techniques gone? He must really be tired; he pulls the first thing to mind and uses that. "What are you working on anyway?"

L and Light give him a look that tells him they are just as curious as to where his gift with words has gone as he is. L looks bored at the subject already. "Murder."

"In France." Light adds.

"We're basically done though." The raven-haired detective heaves a sigh. "Why doesn't anyone at least _try_ and provide a challenge anymore?" Mello gives L an amused look, coming over to join the rest of them by the computers.

"The world's just in a bit of a crime slump right now, it'll pick up. Besides, is anything really going to catch your attention anymore? Not since you defeated Kira anyway. I hear the guy was pretty high up on the IQ scale – all other criminals are morons. Stupidity wasn't really a good reason to kill them indiscriminately though."

Matt watches out of the corner of his eye as Light pretends to be engrossed in his work and L's lips quirk up at the corners. _Interesting_. Maybe it'll be fun to screw with them a little. He needs to wake himself up _somehow_. Besides, it's their fault for being so grouchy.

"You know, according to your data L-" oh look, _now_ the smile's gone "-Kira most probably had a disorder of some kind. Like, OCD, Schizophrenia, defiantly a God-Complex." Light looks pissed; he should probably get back into shallow water. "Maybe sadism. Or masochism," he laughs. "Sounds a right interesting son-of-a-bitch, to be honest. Wouldn't have minded meeting him. Without him knowing I'm your successor anyway, since I don't have a death wish."

Mello's laughing now too, "Retard. Kira's dead now anyway. Right L?" The detective doesn't even think about it,

"Yes, the murderer 'Kira' no longer exists." The blond frowns at L's weird choice of words, but says nothing about it, turning instead to his friend.

"So when are planning your debut to the police? I'm guessing you've hacked into their big fancy screen." Matt smiles in amusement that he is on the same thought track as Mello.

"I was thinking anytime now. They'll all be there then, more or less." He frowns at the chocolate addict questionably, "Do you think I need an alias?"

Mello resumes his laughter as he realises that the redhead is serious. "Y-You idiot! '_Matt_' is already an alias, remember?"

The gamer blinks and his lips twitch up into a half smile. "'Mm suppose it is. Doesn't really _feel_ like one anymore though." He raises an eyebrow, "does 'Mello' feel like an alias?" He's really curious. The redhead has no idea why it seems to matter to him whether or not Mello feels like he is Mello. It just does.

The blond takes a bite out of his chocolate (seriously, the stuff pops out of nowhere) before answering. "Don't know. Not really… no one's said my other name in too long for me to make a real comparison."

"Mi-" Matt freezes before he can say the name aloud. All three pairs of eyes snap towards him, one curious, and the other two in mild warning – and surprise. "-Might go set up my web-cam now. I'll keep you guys out of view, obviously. So try and stay a bit quiet? I know you can't exactly stop your typing but I'll play it off as Watari or something."

Nice save. He gives himself a mental pat on the back for a job well done.

"Why not just change rooms? Make it easier for the rest of us." Light asks.

"I can't. I've set my laptop up to connect with the main computer system in here, since it has what I need to get into the private computer linked up to the screen in their headquarters. If it moves too far away, the connection will break." He explains, "L, can I seriously not smoke in here? I'm gagging for one, it's not even funny."

Big black eyes watch in mild interest as gloved hands twitch in craving. "Fine. I can see there is no way around Matt having his cigarettes. I'll allow it." Matt grins in gratitude and pulls a box out of his jeans, lighting up as he moves out of his seat – ignoring Light's overdramatic cough of course.

The redhead unplugs his laptop and moves to the other side of the room, putting it on the table between couches and angling the cam so it's facing only him. He then fetches another laptop he's borrowing from Watari - to hack into one of the cameras so he can see what's going on – and puts it next to his own orange one.

He has decided that it will be better for him to just talk face to face with the police force. That way, they will feel some sort of trust with him that he knows people lack with the Great L.

If he shows he has nothing to hide from them, it will be easier to communicate in future. He might even steer the conversation in a direction that can get him inside the building by the end of the week.

Actually, he can get in there by tomorrow, if he's going to be optimistic.

Matt does the final steps to connect himself to the police server and watches Watari's screen flash to life. Yes, it seems there's a lot of people in there right now. "Matt." The redhead turns and quickly catches something Mello throws at him. "You don't want to go on without them, right?"

He smiles at the goggles in his hands, thanking the blond as he pulls them over his eyes. They had totally slipped his mind (_again_) but he knew going on the screen with a black eye wouldn't give off the best first impression.

Finally, it is the moment of truth. His own screen flashes open, showing him on the left and some controls on the right. The task force all glance up as their screen goes black, and do a double take when a young man lounging on a sofa appears on their screen.

"Hey." He says. "I'm Matt."

A fairly young man points stupidly at Matt. "Who are you?!" He shouts in shock. The redhead mentally rolls his eyes and ignores the muffled snickering he can hear from Light.

"Matt." He repeats, smiling.

"Oh. No I mean – what are you doing on the chief's screen?! You're not supposed to be there, he might get angry." The man says again. Oh god, is everyone in the police force going to be this… hyper? Matt decides that going along with this man will get him nowhere, and ignores this question, instead asking his own.

"Where is your chief right now? Sorry but it slipped my mind to check up on him, so I don't know what he looks like." He mentally curses his forgetfulness, how could he have forgotten to find out _anything_ about the chief of police? Not even a bloody _name_.

"He's in his office… working I guess." The man looks uncomfortable with the subject, a fact Matt files away for later analysis. "Should I get him for you? He doesn't like being interrupted. Unless I'm bringing him some more coffee, bu-"

"Matsuda!" _Oh is that the idiot's name?_ "Don't make _small talk_ with a hacker!" A man with an afro-thing yells at his co-worker. "Who are you?! What are you doing in our system?!" This time, the redhead's sigh is audible.

"I've said it twice already - I'm **Matt**. And obviously I'm here to speak to you and your boss, I'm afraid this isn't a social visit."

"Aizawa, maybe we should get the chief." A big man says to Mr Afro (or Aizawa, since that is apparently the guys name). Aizawa gives Matt a narrow-eyed look before giving in.

Matsuda gets elected to fetch the chief, but it doesn't seem to scare him like it does the others. Is their chief that frightening? Matt ponders this while everyone on his screen stares openly at him. But eventually the staring gets too much, so the redhead looks down from where he was staring at the ceiling and addresses the officers.

"Is there something on my face or am I just that damn sexy?" He asks in a monotone similar to L's. "Please don't tell me it's my hair. Japanese people seem in awe at my hair. Yes, it _is_ natura-"

Aizawa cuts him off, "No, it's not your _hair_. I think most people are suspicious when strangers hack into their computers. Besides, I only know of one guy who _can_ break into these computers, and that's the bastard who set up their protections in the first place!"

Matt guesses at what the man is implying, mostly due to L's indignant muttering. "I'm not L. I just happen to be good at breaking into things he'd rather I leave alone."

The big man speaks up, "We know you're not L." Aizawa hisses _'Mogi!'_ Like the man has let something big slip. Maybe he has, but Matt doesn't care right now, because Matsuda has come bouncing back into the room.

"Matsuda-san, is your chief coming? If not, I really have other things I could be getting on with. Just because I'm not L doesn't mean I'm not a busy man." The redhead knows he's getting irritable, and is going against his own plan of _not_ being a dickhead, but he can't help it – the police are being as incompetent as he thought! No wonder the list of cases he has to solve is so bloody long…

"Ah! Yeah, he just wanted to wrap up what he was doing, he'll be here in like, two seconds." The man grins up at Matt's camera. True to his word, not long after Matsuda returned, a middle-aged man with greying black hair walks through the door.

He looks up at Matt in shock, then at his team of men and back again, apparently trying to evaluate what's going on. "What's going on in here?" Well, he's straight to the point. Matt thinks he might like this man.

"Hello sir. This is really rude of me, but what's your name again?" The gamer gives the man a polite smile, putting his cigarette out on the table beside his laptop.

"Yagami Soichiro. And your name young man?" Matt freezes. He must have heard wrong right? There's no way…

"Yagami?" He mutters in surprise, shooting a look over at Light and seeing Mello staring at him too. The brunet is ignoring both of them.

Mr Yagami's eyes narrow at him, "you've heard the name before?" Everyone's staring at him in shock, and Matt can hazard a guess as to why. He can't think about that right now though.

"Yes, in passing. You can call me Matt, Yagami-san. I would offer to shake your hand, but sadly we haven't met in person yet." Matt notices Mr Yagami deflate slightly, but brushes it aside with a slight smile.

"Now, the reason I've hacked into your computer system…"

* * *

Matt flops backwards onto the length of the sofa with an overdramatic sigh, ignoring the spike of pain in his back. "It's over~!" He has just gotten off the computer with the Investigation Team, after being on there for just over two hours, talking over his ideas and the ways he can help them catch more criminals.

Strangely enough, it was only after mentioning that he is close 'friends' with L that the team had started to listening to him seriously. More so than he had anticipated.

But it doesn't matter; the good thing is that he's in! Somewhere along the way, it seems his social skills came back into play. He did have the odd moment where he lost control, but hopefully it wasn't noticeable to anyone outside of the headquarters.

"Shouldn't you get off your arse and working on some of your cases if you're going to be getting through them all?" Mello's irritated voice floats over to the sofa, but the redhead ignores him.

"…**Resting my eyes…**" He mutters in English, too exhausted to concentrate on translating himself. The blond snorts from his seat across the room, unperturbed by the language change. "**'M not going to sleep… work to do, you know…**"

"**Just go to sleep. The evidence will still be there in a few hours. You can still catch a bastard or two later." **Mello switches to English too, in a subtle sign of sympathy. Or laziness.

It's Matt's turn to snort this time, a bitter sound. "**Silly… I can't catch Bastard… I'm not even trying though…**" He trails off in a mumble, not thinking about anything coming out of his mouth.

Mello says nothing; probably assuming the redhead is too far-gone to talk to with his incoherent mutters. This suits Matt just fine. Some tiny part of his brain is aware that if the blond starts shooting off questions now, he'll be too half-asleep to cover his own arse.

It's with a blank mind that he finally passes out on the couch.

* * *

Mello has had a fucking _scare. _And it irritates him too much to even _think _about it. But somehow, he still _is!_

God damn fucking Matt and his God damned fucking dreams. The blond lets out an irritated growl. He didn't mind he fact the redhead woke him up in the early hours of the morning, since everyone who's ever been at Wammy's has at some point in their life had some kind of insomnia.

But what bothers him is how much he fucking _cares_.

Having Matt crying in his arms made him feel horrible. Not the kind of horrible he used to feel whenever he would go up to the score board and see that he was just one mark off being number one. No, believe it or not, Mello wishes he felt that way right now because he _hurts_ the way he is right now.

Blue eyes narrow dangerously at the screen in front of him. "Shit," is hissed out between gritted teeth, making two pairs of eyes flick over towards him.

"Mello, you need to calm down. Seriously." Light says, not stopping in his typing. "It might be nothing you know, he didn't seem too bad when talking to the police. Did better than I expected actually…"

"He was Wammy's second Light. Don't underestimate him just because he has a short attention span and not much interest in anything productive. He's just not extremely outgoing." L reminds the brunet, "I wouldn't pick my successors without putting a lot of thought into it."

"So what you're saying L, is that he's just a good actor?" Mello asks with a frown, giving up on trying to do his work. "I don't think so… he was barely conscious through that whole conversation with the police. He missed a whole lot of chances to get them to trust him more, or to get more information about much of anything out of them. If he hadn't mentioned knowing you, they probably would have just taken him for any old guy."

L looks thoughtful now, typing at the screen even as his dark eyes gloss over. "Why is he so tired anyway? Didn't Matt sleep the day away yesterday?" He finally asks, more talking aloud than expecting an answer. Mello reluctantly gives one regardless.

"We didn't get much sleep last night…" Light chokes on his coffee, and L turns his wide eyes onto the blond in… disapproval? Mello raises an eyebrow in confusion – what did they know that he didn't know? "…Matt had a nightmare. I heard him and went to calm him down."

"A nightmare?" Light repeats, wiping coffee off his sweater with his sleeve, "oh. What about?"

"You think _I_ know that? I can't read his mind! He didn't say a damn thing about it, and I only got in his room just before he woke up!" He's pissed at Light for _expecting _him to know what the hell is wrong! Jesus Christ, he isn't a psychic.

"Then lets check the cameras again." L proposes, chewing idly at his thumb. Light seems all for the idea, clicking off whatever he had been on to bring up the security program.

"I don't feel right spying on him like this. It's too far to watch him fucking _sleep!_" The blond protests, shooting the couch he knows the sleeping Matt is on an anxious look. "Besides, he's going to notice eventually. You know he checks the security at least once a week! Like you said, he's not _retarded!"_

"No, of course not. That's Near." L comments.

Mello unthinkingly punches him square in the face, taking the detective by surprise. Without a pause, L automatically spins around on one foot and kicks his successor right back in the jaw, making the blond fly backwards and hit the back of his head on the floor with a sickening _crack!_

"Mello!" Light shouts, jumping out of his chair and over to the younger man, ignoring the look of shock on L's face. Mello can see stars bursting and flashing in his peripheral vision, making him feel dizzy.

That really hurt damn it! Ouch… he's not as used to fights with L as Light is, it seems the detective has forgotten this little fact. Mello can feel his anger resurfacing, but this time it's not at his predecessor, it's directed solely at him.

That comment shouldn't have gotten to him! What does he care if L thinks of the sheep-cripple that way? Besides, that had just been L's messed up form of humour – he doesn't _really_ think of Near that way. He actually likes the company of the ex-genius.

Granted, he preferred his company _before_ he 'lost his smarts' as it were.

Light seems to be saying something, but it's really muffled, and his face is being engulfed in black burn marks. Mello frowns in irritation and pain. He can tell he's about to pass out, and that is not good at _all_. So he clings to consciousness, gritting his teeth and opening his eyes wide, hoping irrationally that it will somehow help.

Despite his efforts, the blonds' vision starts to tunnel inwards, until all he can see is the concerned face of L, mouth working madly as he shouts something at the blond and brunet.

With this weird picture in his mind's eye, Mello loses his fight with the curtains drawing over his eyelids. His eyes flicker shut and he is dead to the world.

* * *

WHAT DID I MAKE L AND MELLO DO?!? HOLY CHRIST EVEN _I_ DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING. IT JUST _HAPPENED_.

Sorry for the sort-of cliffhanger, it just seemed a good place to stop :)

By the way, I can't remember if the task force use honoraries (and I'm too lazy to check) so we'll just pretend they don't with each other. Only Mr Yagami does, cause he's special. Oh and I can't remember if that was the whole task force either, so if I missed someone, tell me cause I'll shove them in 8D

I actually don't like this chapter. I don't know, it just wasn't flowing how I wanted it to, so if it seems weird or bad, don't worry, I know XD I'll try to make the next chapter better!


	6. Chapter 6 filler

AN- Hey guys :) Now, I wasn't too sure if going in this direction with this chapter was a good move or not, but I figured I'd fill you in on the Au-ness of the story. Well, not the reason everyone is alive but… yeah. You'll see.

I want to thank everyone who's faved/alerted this fic and of course my amzing reviewers who make me want to update immpossibly fast 3 I LOVE YOU ALL.

After this we'll get back to the main plot ;) Besides, it links in with why Mello slugged L in the face XD

Have fun with the filler chapter.

* * *

It's his fault. He blames himself completely for what happened to Near. And why shouldn't he? Anyone with half a brain can see that he's the one at fault. Mello is actually shocked that L doesn't suspect him of foul play, but he hasn't asked the detective what's going on in his head – he doesn't think he wants to know.

He's been trying to avoid going to see the albino at all. He's only been a few times before, and the awkwardness has been hanging in the air like a bad smell. Only, he can't be sure if Near feels the same discomfort he suffers through.

He hates it.

How long has it been now? Four years since it happened? Before meeting Light, definitely. Before L saw him as any more than a child who may or may not have to take on his name. It was back in the Wammy days. That time that was both the best and worst of the blonds' life.

It happened when Mello was 15 and Near was 13 – it was actually the day before the albino's 14th birthday, but Mello didn't know that at the time. August the 23rd…

* * *

_Flashback Time :)_

Mello is storming through the corridors of Wammy's House. He just _knows_ he blew that test! He hadn't been able to revise last night, and now he is going to pay for it! Jesus Christ he needs some chocolate. _Now._

The irritable teen finally reaches the kitchen, shoving kids out of his way and glaring at any who dare protest. Don't they know who he is? Ah, that brat looks like he's about to wet himself, maybe he _does_ know who his friend just went against. The blond smirks in triumph when the group of orphans turn on their heels and flee.

He reaches up to the top of the cupboard, where he keeps his spare stash of chocolate – a place the younger ones can't reach. Ignoring the fact he himself has to get on his tiptoes to reach the spot of course.

He collapses into a stool up against the island in the middle of the room. As he chews on his snack, Mello's mind wanders to his current predicament. It's Matt's fault he couldn't study in the first place! The young redhead had been hyper after beating some boss on his game after just 10 hours – and of course, the insane amount of sugar he had consumed hadn't helped.

The gamer had crashed after his sugar high in the middle of class. At least Mello knew he isn't the only one who bombed the test.

The blond finishes up his chocolate bar and dumps the wrapper in the rubbish bin. He's thinking about asking his teacher for a re-sit. It will be embarrassing, but it might be worth it…

Before he even considers it though, Mello decides he should probably go do his studying now. He leaves the kitchen and starts the long trek to the incredibly large library.

The library at Wammy's is like a maze. It's so big, the blond got lost in the place once - for 3 bloody days. The room itself has too many stories for it to be natural, but to this day, not a single Wammy kid has managed to figure out how it's architecture works.

While he's off in the clouds oblivious to his surroundings, Mello makes it to the library, blinking in surprise once he realises he's arrived. It takes him a minute to remember which section it is he needs to look for and once he does, the blond starts in the direction he thinks might be right.

He's on one of the upper floors, exploring the back shelves for the right books when he hears it.

Toys. It's that obnoxious noise that Mello has heard so many times before of beeping and lasers and whatever-the-hell else. Not the beeping shit Matt makes him suffer through. Oh no, _that_ noise is bearable. He knows of only one person in Wammy's that plays with toys _and_ uses the library.

Near. The freaking _first place _albino bastard_._

No matter how many times the blond has seen Near in the library, he has _never_ actually seen the younger boy _study_. It is one of the most annoying things about him. That he's just naturally smart! How is that fair? It's not, that's how!

Mello scowls at the sound, hating how the librarians don't scold Near for making a noise because he's _first. _Shoving the book he is holding back into its place on the stuffed shelf, the 15-year-old storms off in the direction he can hear the robots coming from. He'll break those fucking plastic pieces of shit if just to see some emotion fly across the albino's impassive face!

The sound is louder now, so Mello knows he must be by the right aisle. He peers around the corner, he eyebrows pulling closer over his eyes at the sight of the white-clad boy hunched over at the other end of the shelf.

Near apparently hasn't noticed him yet, so wrapped up in whatever it is he's doing. Mello strides along the aisle, making sure to whack over a stack of books so Near hears him and just because he hoped one would hit the 13-year-old.

It didn't. He curses internally in disappointment.

"Hey sheep-cripple." He mocks, "playing with your dolls again?" The pyjama wearing teen tenses up, keeping his face turned away from Mello. This pisses the blond off, so he walks forward again.

"Don't come over here." A fiercely soft voice commands.

"Aw, what's the matter, Near?" He spits the alias out like a bad taste, "not going to share your toys like a good little baby?" The blond glares at the unresponsive white curls. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" He reaches out to grab the younger boy and slam him against the shelves, but Near moves too fast.

The albino spins around, keeping his face turned away as he shoves Mello into a bookcase and runs past him to end mouth of the aisle. Taken over by shock, it takes the blond a second to react, then he also runs to the opening.

There's no way the boy can outrun him, not once has Mello ever seen him doing sports. Then how is it Near is already halfway down the hall?!

With a curse, Mello sprints after him, wondering wildly what the hell has gotten into the little bastard. As he turns the corner, he notices the albino is almost at the large staircase down to the floor below.

Where _is_ he going?! Jesus Christ!

As Mello gives chase, everything seems to go into some weird slow motion. Near is a few feet from the stairs, and turns his head slightly to observe his pursuer.

With him not being used to running, the 13-year-old can't take the change in balance. On his next step, Near's right foot catches on his too-long pants, dragging them down as his left goes to make the next move.

Mello can see what's going to happen before it has a chance to. Near's arms flail in front of him as he falls, trying in vain to regain his balance. The blond picks up his speed.

If the idiot falls down that flight of stairs… Mello's eyes widen at the thought.

He won't survive that, there's no _way!_ The older might hate the guy, but death is a bit harsh!

Near turns over as he falls, his pale hand reaches out towards the blond, Mello mimicking the action as he nears. But he can tell it's too late, his own hand grasping at the space Near had just being in.

"NEAR!" The scream echoes throughout the whole of the House.

* * *

Near died that day.

L knew this, Mello knew this, and Matt and Watari knew this. After news of the first place's accident reached the detective, everyone had expected him to come rushing back, even in the middle of the Kira investigation as he was.

But he didn't. He couldn't, after all.

Near had gone into a coma. Mello was in a frenzy of screaming at everything for weeks. It had only been when Matt dragged him away from the hospital and tied him to a chair to force calming chocolate down his throat - talking reassuringly all the while – that the blond calmed down.

It was after that that Matt closed himself off more. He had never been social to start with, preferring the company of his games to anything else, but the redhead was (and still is) extremely observant. He knew Mello was in pieces at the thought of Near dying.

Not because Near would _die_ but because the blond saw it as an unfair win on his part. Near was the cheater out of the two of them; Mello hated the thought of being lowered to the albino's standards.

So Matt paid more attention to Mello. He made sure the older could always see he was intent and listening whenever he ranted about the world. He studied with the blond so they could both say with confidence that Mello achieved his place fairly, and studying together also helped them be sure they didn't miss anything. He was just fourteen years old and already he decided to never leave his best friend's side, or put his own problems to light for others to see or worry over.

Matt also started to visit Winchester Hospital everyday, sometimes just sitting playing his games, sometimes doing homework, and sometimes striking up conversation with the unresponsive young boy. Matt would talk about Mello mostly, but he didn't notice that his life revolved around the blond, so it couldn't bother him.

It was on one of the days the Matt was doing homework – overdue because he'd lost track of time _trying_ to hack into L's computer – that Near woke up. At first the redhead couldn't believe it, he'd even went as far as to take off his goggles and rub at his eyes at the sight. But it was true, the boy had miraculously survived the god-knows-how-many foot fall.

Only, he couldn't remember the accident.

He couldn't remember… _anything_. At _all_.

Near truly did die that day.

* * *

With Near's amnesia, L was given no choice but to choose Mello as his successor. Technically, both Matt and Mello were to work together as L when the time came, but the redhead always insisted Mello was the true heir.

When Matt and Mello got old enough that they decided to seek L out and work for him, the redhead had no idea what he was going to do with Near. The boy had become attached to him, so he knew leaving him in England would just be cruel – Near would most probably go back into his shell.

Besides, it's not like he didn't enjoy Near's company too.

So in the end, the only solution was for the albino to come to Japan with them. Mello still felt awkward around the other boy - some part of him still unsure if he had won fairly – but he just ignored Near so he wouldn't have to feel that way.

Problem solved. They all live happily ever after.

…Hopefully.

* * *

I'M SORRY IT'S SO STUPIDLY SHORT BUT TECHNICALLY IT'S A FILLER AND WE ALL WANT TO GET BACK TO THE ACTION AM I RIGHT?

Good.

If I missed anything or someone is confused, tell me and I'll try and fill you in XD

I love how much of a bastard Mello was to Near. But it made me feel sorry for the guy. I'm sure I've said this before but canon Near sucks. My Near is weirdly tolerable.

And I'd love for you guys (my beautiful reviewers who I love) to maybe give me a little feedback on the bit where Near falls? Because it was seriously hard to write how I was seeing it in my head :P I just want to make sure it wasn't too confusing 8D

This chapter is all over the place because I was trying to think of where I could fit in all this crap, but in the end the best way was to make a kind of filler chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

AN- I'm backkk! Well, I'm not pleased with the length of this one (it's like a page less than normal) but I figured I shouldn't drag it out to much right? :)

I've had quite a few reviews giving me good ideas for the story, so I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to review 3 Love you guys as usual!

* * *

"-That is _blood_ Light! He _needs_ medical attention!" L's frantic voice cuts swiftly through the veil Matt's mind. Blood. Blood is not good. And since it's L speaking to Light…

The redhead practically throws himself off the sofa in panic. Green eyes zone in on the three other people in the room, only two of which have noticed his consciousness. L and Light are standing over a body that can only be Mello.

The gamer rushes to the blond, falling to his knees beside his head. There is blood staining the hair that his shaking hand brushes out of Mello's face. "W-what's going on?" He stammers, forgetting to put on his normal act because he can't bring himself to care about it.

"Mello fell and hit his head. He passed out but Light does not believe the hospital is necessary. He thinks bleeding to death on the floor is much more appropriate, of course." L relays. Matt rips his goggles up to rest on his hair as the brunet argues back.

"That is not what I was saying! I just said that we have no car or way of contacting Watari. It's your damn fault for sending him undercover to t-"

The redhead drowns the rest of what Light is saying out as he reaches for the phone in his pocket... Dead – well shit he really needs to charge it's fucking battery! In anger, Matt throws the device across the room, catching to duo's attention and glaring fiercely at them. "I don't give a SHIT whose fault it is, or what you want to FUCKING DO! Now one of you needs to give me a DAMN PHONE before my BEST-_FUCKING_-FRIEND _DIES_, OK?!"

Both stare in shock at his outburst before L whips out his phone from his back pocket, using his thumb and forefinger of course. The gamer snatches the phone out of his grip, flipping it open and dialling in the number he had been given without asking for.

It rings once, twice, three-

"Hello! Who's this?" Matt takes a breath to calm down, struggling to slip his friendly mask into place – he has to play this one carefully.

"Matsuda-san. It's Matt." Why is it L and Light are staring at him in horror? Surely they know that this phone is untraceable. Surely they know _Matsuda_ is trustworthy? "I need a favour, but haven't enough time to explain fully. I need a ride. Really, _really_ fast."

L steps into the redhead's line of sight while Matsuda starts his confused response. The detective starts talking to Matt using sign language, making him raise an eyebrow. Why is he so intent on his voice not being heard? He can't be _that_ paranoid.

'_He cannot come here.' _Matt frowns in confusion, balancing the phone between his shoulder and ear, multitasking as he hurriedly replies to both L and Matsuda, extremely conscious of how long Mello has been out.

'_You expect me to carry Mello away from this place? Moving him could be dangerous!' _"I need to get to the hospital, we don't have time for this Matsuda-san, just come pick me up at…" His mind spins as he tries to think of the nearest place he can get Mello to while still pleasing L.

'_The park on the next street over,' _Is the detective's suggestion. Matt grabs it without a thought, relaying the location to Matsuda who gives him a concerned affirmative and hangs up.

"Well I won't question your motives right now, since Mello is in danger, but you better give a bloody _brilliant _excuse when he's stable." Matt says through gritted teeth as he puts L's phone in his pocket and leans over to pick up his best friend. Light comes over to help him support the weight.

The blond is actually surprisingly light, considering all the chocolate he eats.

"We'll help you to the corner of this street, but that's as far as we can risk." The brunet tells him as they move towards the elevator, L trailing behind uncertainly. They are both acting weird, but Matt doesn't spare it a second thought since he _really_ wouldn't give a shit if there were an earthquake at this moment in time.

Yeah, he's worried, more so than he likes to admit.

The ride in the lift is tense, and the mood stays damp as they exit through the doors. Matt stabs at the controls to let them out of the main door, too impatient to let the raven-haired man do it for him. Before leaving, he makes sure to pull his goggles back down over his black eye.

They probably looked extremely suspicious, walking down the street together. Walking anywhere with L pulls people's eyes towards them, with his messy appearance and bare feet (the detective has to carefully avoid anything dodgy looking on the ground) but it is even worse with two of the group practically dragging another along with them.

Luckily, no one tried to question them, so when they get to the corner, it's easy for Light to pass his half of Mello over to Matt. The redhead carefully rearranges the blond so he's carrying him bridal-style. "We will get to the hospital as soon as we can." L says. "Please come up with a reasonable excuse for Matsuda-san. It should not be too hard, he's pretty trusting."

Matt nods absently, not thinking too hard about anything other than Mello at the moment, "got it. See you." He replies, turning without a backwards glance.

Without Light, Mello's full weight is starting to get to him. His muscles aren't yet fully healed from the previous day, so not matter how much he ignores the pain; Matt can't help the tortured expression that takes over his face.

He isn't yet at the park when a black car screeches up behind him. The redhead blinks owlishly at the vehicle for a second before the door is flung open, and Matsuda jumps out. "Matt-kun?!"

It takes him another second to get over the honorific. "Matsuda-san. Please help me get him onto the back seat." The older man isn't given a chance to refuse as Matt uses his foot to try and open the back door. Seeing his hurry, Matsuda quickly opens the door himself and both of them move so Mello is lying on his back with his head resting on Matt's knees.

He blushes slightly at the position despite knowing he is being stupid. Matsuda hurries to the drivers seat, starting the car up again and shooting off. "We need to get to the private hospital. Do you know the one?" He asks, distracting himself from his stupid thoughts.

"Y-yes. I know the way." Matsuda shoots a glance at him in the mirror, "w-why do we need to go there?" Matt is relieved that Matsuda hasn't questioned him on Mello yet. He'll have to leave that for later.

"I know someone in there that can help me. He shouldn't mind lending out his room…" Matt trails off, hoping Near _won't_ mind sharing his room. It'll save any irritating paperwork, even if a doctor does come to treat the blond, he can't ask any compromising questions if Mello isn't technically a patient.

Or, this is the half cooked plan the redhead has managed to whip up since phoning the policeman. He hasn't had time to make it foolproof, and his head is in too much of a state right now to concentrate on anything but stroking Mello's blond hair carefully out of his closed eyes.

The gamer wishes those eyes were open, those icy blues glaring up at him and asking what the fuck he's doing. It's not that he wants Mello to be angry with him - of course not - it's just that when the blond has his attention fully directed at him, and not at anyone else…

…It's one of the best feelings in the world.

Matsuda gets them to the hospital in record time, clambering out of his seat to help the duo out of the back. Matt takes Mello back into his arms, ignoring the burning pain still present and giving the man a smile.

"Thank you Matsuda-san. I'm sorry to contact you under such strange terms so quickly, but I will explain everything when I'm sure my friend is ok." He moves towards the doors as he speaks, "I'm sure you have work to do, I'm fine from here. I can go on alone."

Even Matsuda doesn't seem to miss the undertone saying that it isn't negotiable. The man bows slightly and watches him go up to the door before getting back into his car and leaving. Matt lets out a slight sigh at the man's obedient actions but is knocked out of his thoughts by a loud gasp.

Suuki jumps up from behind her desk, slamming her phone back into its cradle. "MATT!" She yells in shock, taking in the unconscious blond in his arms. He knows he's going to be disrespectful, but Matt doesn't have _time _for the woman right now.

He walks straight past her desk, heading automatically towards Near's room. He can hear her shouting his name behind him, but the redhead knows Suuki can't leave her station at the front desk, so she won't follow him until her next break.

He bursts into the albino's room without knocking, shocking the inhabitant out of his crossword puzzle. "Near. Could you move?" Shocked black eyes are wide, staring at Mello. He quickly jumps off the bed, sweeping his puzzles onto the floor.

Matt cautiously lays the blond onto the sheets. Near is digging around one of his draws and retrieves a first aid box, which he hands to Matt without a sound.

The redhead takes it with a thank you, opening it to set to work on his best friend. Mello will be alright, because Matt couldn't live with himself if anything happens to the blond.

This thought doesn't stop his hands from shaking as he dabs the dried blood from Mello's face.

* * *

"…What happened?"

Matt lifts his head from where it had been buried in his arms. He's sitting in the chair beside Near's bed, half lying on the mattress. Near has been standing at the end of the bed, staring at Mello and not saying anything since the redhead finished up treating the blond to the best of his ability.

This is the first time in about an hour that either of them has spoken. "I wish I knew…" He mumbles. He has realised after getting to know the new Near, that the albino gets easily nervous when the others go quiet for too long – it's a sign they are thinking and the albino hates knowing that whatever goes through their minds is too far away for him to grasp at.

So, sometimes it's better to think aloud. "There is a possibility he was somehow dragged into one of L and Light's fights. L says he fell, but that is a poor excuse-" The redhead ignores how he himself used that excuse just yesterday "-because Mello was laying on his back. I would say that they just rolled him over, but after checking his wounds, I've realised he's hit the _back_ of his head." He can't help but frown slightly, "did they even _try_ to move him?"

Near shuffles over to Mello's right, with Matt watching him from across the bed. The white-clad boy crouches down into his sitting position – something he retained even after the memory loss – and stares at the blonds face. He doesn't look up as he speaks. "Matt, you look… depressed. But you looked… worse… yesterday."

The redhead inwardly curses. Near might not be a genius, but he is still no idiot. Even after putting up his façade, the albino could tell something hadn't been right. "I did?" He decides to play it innocent, "oh… well, I had I bit of a bad day I guess… My face had an impromptu meeting with the curb."

Well, that's not a total lie.

Near's black orbs travel from the unconscious blonds face to Matt's own orange-tinted eyes, staring at him in a way that makes the redhead sure his lie hasn't been bought for a second. "Ok." The albino surrenders, "I'm glad you're ok either way."

The next few minutes are filled with awkward silence. Matt gets too lost in his own thoughts and worry about Mello to pay too much attention to anything else going on in the room. It is only when he hears shifting and a low groan that the gamer snaps back to attention.

Blue iris' flicker into view, Mello's eyes opening to barely slits before scrunching close again from the onslaught of light. He groans again as Matt unconsciously moves in closer, blocking the majority of the fluorescents. "**What… the shit…?**" Comes his hoarse voice in groggy English.

"Mello!" Relief washes over the redhead in waves, a grin stealing across his face despite himself. "Oh thank Christ you're alright." He speaks in Japanese because even though Near has re-learnt a few languages, he still has trouble switching too quickly between them – even with English being his mother tongue.

The blond still seems a little dazed, blurry eyes blinking up at his friend. He pulls himself up to a sitting position and winces. "**Fuck… my head.** Argh… where am I?" Mello clutches at his skull with one hand, squinting at his surroundings. "Hos…pital?" He asks, getting back into the right language.

Near has apparently noticed that he is invisible from his position on the floor, deciding to get up from his seat on the ground. Mello's eyes go wide at the appearance of the albino, mind abruptly clicking the pieces back together.

Matt puts a hand firmly on the blonds' shoulder to stop him from trying to jump off the bed. "It was the best course of action I could think of. Bare in mind I was close to wetting myself in fear at the time Mels." He says in a low voice, then on a brighter note – "besides! You haven't been to see Near in forever, what with all those cases. I'm sure he gets fed up with seeing my ugly mug all the time!"

Matt shoots the albino a look when he looks like he's about to protest. He knows how curious Near is about Mello, how his eyes never leave the blond when he is nearby. The redhead guesses it's due to how L's successor acts around him – the younger boy knows there's something he's missing.

Mello scowls, making Matt flick the crease on his forehead. "You'll make your headache worse. Try not to think so hard for a while, as difficult as that may be." He teases.

"Sorry if we don't all have an off switch on our brains." He retorts, cricking his neck to relieve the stiffness there. "Whatever. Where are the L 'n Light anyways? I owe L an apology…" The last part is muttered in irritation. Matt sighs, wondering if maybe the reason Mello got hurt is the blonds' tendency to act without thinking too hard.

"Do I want to know?" He wearily asks. Mello's blue eyes quickly shoot to Near and back to his flexing hands.

"Not important." He growls. The redhead decides not to question him, the blond has only just woken up after all. Mello sighs, fixing his eyes on his best friend critically. "Well? Where _are_ they? They better not have just dropped me off and bolted."

Matt's brow instinctively furrows in thought. Mello catches this and stares at him more intently, still awaiting his answer. Near chooses this moment to join in the conversation.

"Matt carried you in on his own… L-san and Light-san haven't been here yet." He says, obviously resenting being ignored and just as curious about what L and Light are playing at as the redhead is.

"What?!" Mello explodes, his head whipping between the two like he's watching some kind of tennis match. "They didn't even help me IN? Fuck the apology, bastards can rot in hell!" Then those furious blue orbs fix in on the gamer, "_you_ carried me in? I'm obviously not fat, but you got ripped to pieces yesterday! Didn't that _hurt? _Christ Matt!"

Matt offers up a sheepish smile, tilting his head awkwardly. "I-I suppose…" He replies, wanting the spotlight of him before he starts thinking about _it_ again. "You're really light you know, so it wasn't a problem. Besides, they helped me a bit of the way. We apparently had no car… I had to call in a favour."

The blond nods, indicating that he knew about the car situation. "Right. Well-"

There is a knock at the door, attracting the attention of the threesome. It opens to reveal a blank faced Light, whose sharp eyes quickly take in the situation. Not even a second later, the brunet's easy smile slips into place and he enters the room, followed by L.

"Mello," he starts, "I see you're ok. Thank goodness." Matt knows that disarming smile will do nothing to Mello - the blond will be more irritated by it than anything else. L obviously thinks so to, if the disbelieving look he shoots Light is anything to go on.

Then why does that the fact that fucking expression is being directed at his best friend bother him? Why does he want to punch that smile straight off of the older man's face?

Luckily, the reasonable side of the redhead's brain kicks into action for the first time in what seems like forever, telling him that his anger is totally unfounded and unjustified. No matter how much he really, _really _wants to hurt the brunet. Matt is brought forcibly out of his thoughts by Mello's voice.

"Oh, Light. I _was_ ok until you shown up. Now for some reason, Matt is trying to cut off the circulation to my arm." All eyes turn to where the gamer is still painfully gripping Mello's shoulder, then up to his face. Matt hastily lets go, having forgotten that he had been holding the blonds arm in the first place.

"Right. Sorry." Four pairs of eyes stay trained on him for a few seconds more, so Matt tries to subtly direct the attention elsewhere. "So, hey! Near and Light get to meet now huh?" He waves weakly between the two in question.

Silence.

"Riiiiight…" Mello breaks the stillness and Matt has the urge to hug him in thanks, but resists. "Erm… So, L, you know I'm sorry for hitting you and everything but seriously. _You let Matt carry me in on his own?" _The redhead wonders absently if Mello implying he couldn't handle this on his own should bother him, or if he should be surprised that the blond has hit L. It doesn't. After all, Mello insults everyone.

"Hey remember that time you insulted the Queen and Roger didn't give you chocolate for like, 3 weeks?" The redhead randomly recalls. _Oh great move retard, now everyone is staring at you again._

"Y…Yeah. Erm… you snuck me some after I threw your gameboy out of that window at Near." At the albino's shocked face, he hastily tacks on, "I missed." Near doesn't look the least bit better at the thought. "Now Matt shut the fuck up for a few minutes, anyone would think you hit _your_ head with the random shit coming out of your mouth."

The gamer makes a zipping motion across his mouth and settles back into his chair. L moves forwards and perches on the bed, the blond having moved to sit with his legs crossed to make room. Near hesitates, then takes the place next to the detective, leaving Light to look slightly peeved at having no where to sit.

Matt suddenly remembers Suuki. Well, shit what time will she be off? "Hey Light, you can sit here. I've got to go stop a crazy-girl from calling every doctor in the hospital to this room." Light nods, moving around the bed and replacing the redhead in the seat next to the bed. "I'll be back in a bit."

Without waiting for a reply, the gamer makes his escape.

He takes a deep breath, happy to be out of the crowded room and itching for another fag.

Then, the redhead grimaces as he lets his legs slowly carry him off towards the front desk. It is time to face the music.

Or in this case, time to face something much more terrifying - an overly curious worried female.

Oh _Hell._AN - You know, I realise that Mello should probably be dead. And technically, no one checked he was still alive until Matt got to the hospital but… shhhh I didn't think about it at the time! And everything did happen pretty fast, Matt assumed L or Light checked to make sure the blond was alive and crap so he didn't bother.

* * *

Yeah, lets go with that.

Matt's an emotional roller coaster. Worried, angry, worried, calm, curious, angry, happy, stern, pissed off… I could go on. Aw, he's so stressed /pats matt/

For next chapter, I'm going to try (_try_) to get more L cause I don't think he's been in it enough and that sucks. And the Police will be there. And more Mello. God it's hard to involve everyone when they're all in the same bloody room. I'll have to kick some of them out.

Love it? Hate it? Please review!

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

AN- …Am I late? Well whatever, I've been revising. Fun times – now it's over for a few more months until my next exams XD

I personally love this chapter, but I won't spoil you!! Just read on and enjoy.

I'll stop before I fangirl too much. Have fun !

* * *

_The most convincing lies are the ones with some truth to them._

* * *

Ok, so he can't tell if this if really good, or really, _really_ bad.

Opposite Matt, Suuki calmly lifts her coffee to her lips and takes a sip. The redhead's thumb fiddles with the side of his own untouched drink, his mind racing.

When he had sighted the brunette, she had been talking to a co-worker over the front desk. As soon as she spotted him however, she had hastily cut off mid-sentence and ended the conversation. Without so much as a hello, Suuki had walked straight past the redhead, shooting him a look to make it clear he was supposed to follow.

And he had. So now they are both sitting in silence in the hospital's humming cafeteria, and Matt has no idea if he should be running for his life or not.

He nearly jumps out his skin when Suuki finally breaks the silence. "Is your friend ok?" What? No yelling? Oh god, she must be building up to it. This is exactly the kind of thing he has done too many times to count. Build up a false sense of security and then destroy is without mercy. Maybe this girl isn't as incapable as he first thought…

…but still - even with these ideas rushing through his head - just the thought of his best friend can't help but bring a small smile to the gamer's face. "Yeah, thankfully. He scared the shit out of me there for a minute. But he's just woke up and is as bitchy as ever, so Near's probably terrified right now." He can't imagine the albino being _terrified_ of the blond, but he barely sees him, so it must be a shock.

"Well, that's good." She offers him up a smile, but Matt can see the calculation in her eyes. What could she possibly be thinking so intently about? He has no idea, and it that is what irritates him more than anything.

He's supposed to be great at reading people! Getting into people's minds and knowing what it is they want to hear is one of his specialities. Well, his idiocy will surely pass, it's only been a day after all. To come to any conclusions from two bad days _is_ idiotic, so he'll have to refrain from doing so.

"You didn't call for an ambulance." Green eyes snap back into focus to see brown ones staring at his Styrofoam cup. The redhead fluidly brings it to lips, fighting a cringe at how cold the liquids gotten. "Why?"

This, of course, brings the gamer's idiocy back into question. He hadn't even _thought_ of that! He had just been too scared at the time to think clearly…

But still, he can't say _that_. "I didn't have the number on hand, and we knew a public hospital would have to be a last resort."

"Why?"

"Personal reasons."

They stare at each other while Suuki absorbs this. Matt has made it clear in the past that he won't _talk _about those personal reasons, and he's sure the young woman has thought of millions of possibilities, all of which are now probably rushing through her mind.

To be honest, the main reason Near isn't in a public hospital is nothing more than L's paranoia and hatred of going anywhere in public. He and Light always seem to be wary of how long they are out of the safety of headquarters. This is understandable in L's case, but Matt has always found it suspicious that someone as attention-loving as Light doesn't try and bargain his way out every now and again.

He mulls this over until the brunet opposite him is finished with her own (obviously less complex) thoughts. She takes a final swig of her coffee and looks straight into his orange lenses. She smiles slightly, and says "I get it now. I know your secret, Matty."

Mild panic rushes forth, the redhead's eyes going guarded on reflex. There are too many things that she can be referring to. Did he slip up somewhere? God no, he's not said anything compromising at all! The best course of action is to play dumb, of course. "And what secret are we referring to here…?" He prompts, frowning slightly in confusion.

Suuki's smile grows amused; making the gamer's eyebrow twitch in shock. Well she surely seems to be over the whole 'I-Ignored-You-While-Carrying-What-Probably-Looked-Like-A-Corpse' thing. That is good. "You know!"

Oh Christ her eyes are practically _sparkling_. He knows does he? Well he knows a lot of things thank-you-very-much, but unfortunately, _this_ time around, Matt has absolutely _no_ idea what she's going on about. "Erm…no I don't?" Aw, and Wammy's had always told him never to admit it when he didn't know something during a negotiation. Oh well.

She bites her lip, an action that doesn't help Matt's nerves in the slightest. The redhead watches in fascination as nervousness creeps over her features, and is then violently squashed with understanding and determination.

Ok, now he's confused _and_ scared.

"You… oh god it hasn't happened yet, has it?" And what, she expects him to answer? The redhead tries not to grow annoyed at how obtuse his friend is being. She seems to be thinking again, so he retreats back into his own thoughts.

Hasn't happened yet? Wow now he feels really oblivious. There's no _way_ he can be expected to tell her things that 'haven't happened'. What is he, psychic? Matt mentally shakes that train of thought away, knowing it will lead him nowhere.

Ok, so. Possibilities… Near coming home with them. Ha, why would she think that? Besides, it's not his choice to make – it's L's – and the detective hasn't yet disclosed his reason for not having the albino come back to headquarters.

_Maybe she thinks I beat up Mello in revenge for him 'punching' me._

Well if she does, she doesn't know him as well as he first thought. _Him_ beat up _Mello_? Why in God's name would he do that? It wouldn't be worth it.

His mind trails back to the previous day and his conversation with the girl about his injuries. She had reacted strangely to his lie. What had he said to her again? Something about wrestling with Mello, there's nothing weird about that… is there?

"Matt I think you have the hots for Mello." His mouth falls open.

…

… "WHAT?" He exclaims.

She's looking at him all seriously, seeming to gauge his reaction. Well how is he supposed to react to THAT? The redhead feels like his body has gone numb, all thoughts flown from his mind.

"I think you want in Mello's extremely tight pants. They actually _scream _gay to be honest." She _sort-of_ repeats. Matt feels like he's made of jelly. Mello. GAY. The thought has never… _ever_ crossed his mind.

Sure, he can vaguely remember the other kids at Whammy's making fun of Mello for being 'feminine' or something like that, but _come on._

"Mello? Seriously?" He can hear the disbelieving tone to his voice, but still feels oddly blank. Suuki nods solemnly. "You're joking…! N-no he's not! Oh Christ, if he heard you right now…" Green eyes nervously jerk around the room, as if expecting the blond psychopath to storm in at any moment.

Suuki blinks at him and promptly goes into a laughing fit. Matt frowns, not understanding what can be funny about Mello on a rampage. "What _now?"_

The girl collects herself and grins at him. Something about that grin doesn't bode well for the gamer, he can tell. "I'm just shocked. You don't seem to care at all that I've said _you're_ gay – you're just defending Mello." Matt stares. "I think this proves my point, does it not?" She winks.

… well shit. There is obviously a rational explanation for that. "Uh…" It just so happens that the redhead hasn't yet figured out what it is. He quickly scans the conversation up until now and realises she's right. He smoothly brushes those thoughts away for now, it won't do for him to stay silent for too long in the company of someone who isn't the genius' he lives with.

"Don't be ridiculous Suuki. The reason I haven't objected is obviously because I know I don't like guys, I'm defending Mello because he's not here to do it himself. Besides, if you told any of this to him it'll be your funeral, I'm just saving your life." He looks straight into her eyes, trusting his goggles to conceal his lie. They say you can see into someone's soul though their eyes after all.

She looks away, looking slightly put out for some reason. Silence reins over the table, both occupants avoiding looking at the other. Matt's careful control over his thoughts slips a few times, causing him to wonder about Suuki's observation. As soon as he notices this though, the redhead stubbornly avoids going down that thought track.

When the quiet starts to feel suffocating, Matt finally snaps and downs the rest of his now cold coffee. Sod it. "I'm going back to Near's room now. They'll be wondering where I am, I've been gone so long." The receptionist looks up from her nails, shocked.

Matt stands up, making Suuki leap to her feet desperately. "Wait!" He does, "will you at least consider it? Please?" The gamer frowns in irritation, not bothering to hide it.

"Why do you care so much anyway? Isn't it traditionally Japanese to find those kinds of things repulsive?" He snaps, not caring if he offends the girl. She backs up slightly, having never seen the other lose his temper, even if only slightly.

"Geeze, no need to get stereotypical." She points at Matt's face, "besides, you're not Japanese, so why should anything like that apply to you?"

"Who says I-" He attempts to protest, but she waves it off.

"Oh please. Sure your accent and all that are perfect, and you seem to know the customs really well, but have you looked in a mirror?" She tugs at his fringe, making the redhead pout. "Red. Your eyebrows are red too, so my guess is that the curtains match the carpet. Am I right?"

Of course she is right. In a last ditch attempt, Matt slaps on a slightly mocking smile. "Oh yeah? Maybe I was raised in Japan. Maybe my parents moved here before I was born and all I've ever known is Japan."

Brown eyes narrow slightly. He can almost _see_ the inner battle going on within Suuki's head. "No, I don't believe you." Matt's mouth goes slack with shock.

She doesn't… _believe him?_

He doesn't know how to react - the only people who have ever not bought his lies are sitting in a small white room somewhere else in this very building.

He quickly pulls himself together, making the calculations in a millisecond. Suuki is probably bluffing, it's the only rational explanation. He gives her a mental pat on the back to her stubbornness, but with nothing to back it up, her lie has fallen flat on its face.

"Believe whatever you want. I'm not here to convince you of anything, or discuss my childhood. I'm here for Mello" her eyes sparkle, "…and Near." He tacks on hastily.

"Think about it. For your sake, not mine." She pleads as Matt walks past her and to the door.

He pauses, his hand resting on the doorframe. He turns his head to look her dead in the eyes. "I'm not in love with Mello."

The redhead turns on his heel and strides out of the cafeteria, refusing to look back.

"…I am_ not_ in love with Mello."

* * *

…_The most convincing lies are the ones with some truth to them._

* * *

Matt looks around blankly. The walls are all the same bleached white, the corridors are deserted and there are no signs as far as he can see.

Where the _hell_ is he?

The redhead sighs and resolves to worry about that later. Since he has found himself totally lost in the hospital (how did he manage that anyway? It's not a big place) he might as well do some real thinking.

He leans back against one of the walls, sliding down and sitting with his legs pulled up. He looks a bit like L, but the thought is fleeting, so he doesn't care.

His mind is abuzz with the recent events. Suuki had certainly shocked him to the core, both with what she said and with her reaction to his answers. The timing of this little revelation of hers couldn't have been worse for him, what with…

He forcibly shakes his head, still refusing to voice the experience even within his own mind. If he wants to get past it, he has to ignore it, right? That's worked for everything else in his life…

Why does Suuki think that he and Mello are more than best friends? It's ridiculous; of course it's ridiculous! No one would ever want _Matt_. No one _has_ ever wanted Matt.

The redhead forlornly lays his chin on his knees, wrapping his arms around his legs. He remembers how shocked he had been when the blond had first ever approached him - the loner kid who would spend all his time playing games while others where studying, but somehow still kept his place as third - and announced them as friends. He remembers how he had cried because of the overwhelming emotions he had felt at that moment.

He had been five.

Matt quickly pushes away the memories before they burst forth in a flood. He has to think logically about this – logic is safe.

Ok, he's never really thought about it before, so does he like girls?

The redhead tries to picture himself with a woman, before realising that the only female he knows is Suuki. The kids at Wammy's don't count because he hasn't seen them for too long and picturing any of them will make him feel like a paedophile.

Suuki. He pictures her face when she's working, when she's smiling, all the expressions he can remember seeing on her face. He's grasping for something, for anything!

Nothing. There is no burst of feeling, or sudden heat or sparks flying or… anything. Why? It can't be that the girl is ugly, he knows for a fact that she isn't. Maybe he just can't feel anything because he sees her as a friend and nothing else?

Matt lifts his head up off his knees and slams it back down in irritation.

He should just go out on the street right now, pick up a random good-looking and very willing girl and get it over with.

… _Shit._

That's not how a normal healthy teenager would think of it, is it? Not that Matt has ever claimed to be normal… but this is just too much. He will bet even the Great _L_ has gotten some before. Hard to believe, and pretty damn creepy, but true.

Funny, the gamer always pictured L as asexual… fuck maybe _he's_ the asexual one.

Matt can feel a major headache coming on. It's blossoming from his left eye (which is turning a funny yellow colour) and crawling back through his brain, making it extremely difficult to think straight.

Should he be thinking straight? When he's not even sure if he _is_ straight anymore?

Now he is _sure _that he's not going to get any further by thinking anymore. The pain in his head spikes violently, making bright green eyes screw up. Matt pushes his goggles up to sit on his hair and rubs at his left temple with a shaking hand, trying futilely to ease the pain.

He snaps out of his fractured thoughts at the sound of a sniff. The redhead's hand numbly moves from his temple to brush just beneath his eye and up into his field of vision.

His glove is wet.

Wide green eyes take in the sight in a detached kind of way, the clogs of Matt's brain moving slowly before they click. The click resounds throughout his head, seeming to echo in the silence of the deserted corridor.

As he hides his head on his knees in the unnamed, unoccupied corridor, another sniff breaks through; confused and scared, Mail Jeevas cries.

* * *

AN- is it too short? Oh well, I might add more before I post it :P Or I might not. I didn't have time to fully read through it properly cause theres some serious shizz goin down IRL and I can barely think straight.

Poor Matty, I'm putting him through crap. But it has to be done. Besides, who ever said Death Note is happy? I wish it was too, but lets face it, it's not. And this fic is meant to stick to the vague feel of DN.

I got totally stuck as soon as Suuki told Matt what that he wants Mello's arse, and couldn't face trying to battle through that scene. So I'd love it if in your reviews you could maybe tell me if that bit was ok? In the end I just said sod it and started typing XD

Reviews will help Matt come to terms with his feelings!

**Edit - I totally forgot this but just now remembered. Who do you guys think is topping in this fic? I really wanna hear your views on this one. Seriously XP**


	9. Chapter 9

AN- I can't get over how many reviews this story is getting!! I love every single person who has reviewed, added this to his or her favourites, or whatever!! You guys are amazing.

I'm trying to update at least once a month, but next month I have both exams and a HOLIDAY (yay) so I'm not 100% sure I can get one out in May. Not that I won't try.

* * *

The seconds feel like minutes. The minutes begin to drag on like hours, wrapping and coiling around him like a blanket. Few tears fall from Matt's eyes, and if he had been in any state to think about it he would have guessed that is because of all the crying he has done over the past two days.

Eventually, the tears stop completely, the only evidence of them being the tracks running down his face.

The redhead keeps his head down, wanting to hide, wanting to not have to _think _again. After all, thinking is what got him in this state in the first place. His fists clench the material within their reach – one on his leg, one on his other arm – in a death grip.

Matt can feel his thoughts spiralling around his skull, buzzing like static in his mind. He feels disconnected from himself though, like he's standing behind a glass wall watching millions of trains of thought zipping past, feeling nothing but a throbbing pain nowhere and everywhere at once.

He wants to break the glass. It feels like there's something worthwhile on the other side, just waiting for him, calling for him. It also feels dangerous though. Like playing with fire, beautiful to watch but only to be admired from a distance, if he doesn't want to get burned.

His want isn't stronger than his fear of more pain, his fear of the unfamiliar. The longing isn't enough to break through the haze in his mind.

He can't be sure how much time passes before Matt is broken out of his stupor by a ringing from his pocket.

His head snaps up in shock, green eyes blinking owlishly as the teen comes back to his senses. His hand fumbles around for the pocket, making him have to twist awkwardly to get into the jeans. He manages to fish the buzzing device out of his pants and slumps back into his position, head against his knees, not wanting to fight the haze protecting him from reality. He has to answer the phone though.

Matt supposes he should check who is ringing L's phone, but guesses it is the detective himself as he flips it open and holds it against his ear. The other end is silent for a minute, then –

"Ma …Ryuu? Ryuu, are you there?" His breath catches in his throat. The haze shifts. _Mello._

It takes him a second to realise the blond is weary, using the name Light made up the last time they tried to ring him - but this thought doesn't surprise, or matter to him. _Mello._

"…Hi Mels," he manages to whisper. There is another silence on the other end; Mello must be waiting for more than that feeble greeting. Matt can't offer any more up though, because a lump is curling up in his throat, in sync with his clearing mind. He knows Mello must have a reason for calling, so he might as well get on with it.

"Where are you?" The blond settles with this as his first question. The redhead rolls his head slightly to look to his left, then again to look in the other direction.

"…I have no clue." Comes his monotone answer. There is a sharp outtake of breath in Matt's ear as the blond sighs. Oh dear, he annoyed Mello.

"Jesus, whatever." How strange. His friend's voice is echoing – he must be on speaker. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" It feels like this is an interrogation. Matt's lips quirk humourlessly.

"Who knows."

"Stop it with the shitty answers! I swear to God I'll-"

Matt only half listens to the threats pouring from Mello's mouth, trying to figure out the knot in his chest and how to get rid of it. Had this feeling in his chest been there before the blond rang? Why did the he ring anyway? How long has he been gone? Are they still even in the hospital? Did Mello notice he hadn't returned or had L or Light told him?

And why the _hell_ does he feel better just from hearing Mello's voice?

"-You're not even fucking _listening_ are you?" Matt uncurls himself from his L-ball, leaning back against the wall with his legs spread out in front of him.

"Of course I'm listening. It's one of my many qualities." He finally replies, aiming for a lighter mood to uplift his friend. "Where are you? I got a bit caught up talking and lost track of time…" He quickly checks the screen and sees he left about two and a half hours ago.

"Many qualities my arse. We're back at home." Mello snipes back, "just ringing to make sure you aren't dead in some alley somewhere -" Matt flinches "- or off making any more 'friends' that you might be entrusting L's phone to."

Oh so _now _they are going to talk about it? Matt feels too drained to lie, too mentally strained to string together some deceit on the spot.

"Yeah ok. Nice to know if I ever find myself immobile in an alleyway somewhere I can count on you to _call_ me. Just fabulous – amazing police work Mello." He knows his voice is bitter and sarcastic, but the redhead figures he deserves to vent a little. "I'll try and find my way to the front door now. This place is a bit of a maze, isn't it a shame none of my new _friends_ are around to help me?" He bits out. "L, can you send Watari?"

"Ah, of course Matt knew his conversation was not with just Mello. I expected that." Says L's voice over the speaker. "I'm sure Watari will gladly come to pick Matt up now."

"Thanks. Bye," the redhead promptly hangs up on them, cutting Mello off before he could fully start again.

He looks both ways down the corridor and sighs. He really has no idea where he is. Matt shrugs and walks in a random direction.

If he keeps searching, he'll find his way eventually.

* * *

The next week seems to pass by at a painful rate. Matt can't trust himself to be near the others too much – especially Mello – so he distances himself as much as possible without moving out of the building permanently.

Every day feels like an inner-struggle, starting with the redhead waking up in a cold sweat from another nightmare and wishing he had the comfort Mello gave him the first time. He would quickly push these traitorous thoughts away though, drag himself out of bed and hitch a ride on the train to get to police headquarters.

After immersing himself in his self-imposed workload for a week, Matt has come to put more rapists behind bars than the police have managed in the past half a year. He truly has earned the trust and admiration of the taskforce that he and L handpicked to work alongside the younger orphan.

Matt now sits at the long table he asked to be put in the office, arms crossed lazily across his stomach and legs popped on the shining wood. He chews absently on a toothpick, having respected the rule for no smoking in the building.

Around the teen, Matsuda, Aizawa and Mogi work diligently on the leads he has dug up for them. The chief is, as usual, in his office. Matt has a very, _very_ good idea of what Mr Yagami is up to, but knows that butting his head into things that as of yet don't concern him is a foolish move.

Currently, the redhead is taking the well-deserved break forced upon him by Matsuda. Half lidded green eyes idly scan over the backs of the other men, while Matt wonders how long he is going to have to sit here bored shitless.

He notices that Matsuda's back is strangely tense, and decides to investigate the reason. "Matsuda-san, is there something wrong?" He asks, genuinely concerned.

As usual, the man jumps in surprise at how perceptive Matt is, before turning around guiltily. Wait guiltily? What the hell? Matt is suddenly more interested than before, pulling his goggles up to rest on his hair - thankfully his black eye is gone.

Matsuda bits his lip when his gaze meets Matt's venom-green eyes, like he isn't completely sure if he should go in he direction he wants to go in. Matt gives him a reassuring smile to get the man going. "Well… I was just wondering... Do you…?" Involuntarily, Matsuda glances towards the chief's door and Matt's heart sinks as he realises what's coming next. "I mean… how well do you know L?"

The redhead watches as the other policemen turn slightly to regard him with curiosity. He knew this day was going to come sooner or later, but L has failed to tell him exactly what he should tell these men. "Who said I _know_ L personally?" He asks, keeping his expression blank.

Aizawa spins his chair around fully, staring at Matt dubiously. "_You_ did!" Matsuda nods in agreement. The redhead just grins back innocently, enjoying messing with their heads.

"I did?" Matt takes his feet off the table to lean forward on it and regard the policemen honestly, with a curious tilt of his head. "Ok I do know L, what of it?"

"Yes we gathered, but _how well_ to you know the freak?" Aizawa stresses. Matt can't help but let out a chuckle at how the man refers to _the great _L.

"Ok, ok. I know him better than most - have practically my whole life. Are you happy now?" The gamer levels them all with a knowing look, subtly telling them the _yes_ he _does_ know what they want to ask him, but _no _he _doesn't_ think it's his place to tell them.

Or… you know… he _hopes_ they're all getting that from him. Matsuda hesitantly speaks up.

"Do you… do you know about the Kira case?" An amused smile twitches at the teen's lips, because really he would have had to be living under a rock somewhere to not know about Kira. "The one that ended…"

"5 years ago, yeah." Matt fills in. The man nods hurriedly, glad that the redhead is following.

"Erm well… I don't know if you know but we were all working under L on that investigation." He goes on, gesturing vaguely at the three of them. "You probably know though… it must be on our files…" Matsuda trails off uncertainly, looking like he doesn't know how to phase what he's about to say. Matt decides to help him out.

"I know. This obviously means you know who Kira _was_," he stresses the past tense, "and I'm pretty sure you met with L too, but that's more speculation on my part." Putting how the famous detective had reacted at maybe being seen by Matsuda into consideration, Matt is almost certain L _did_ meet with these men.

Light too.

Aizawa, who has been watching the redhead closely throughout the conversation, finally puts his mouth to work. "All true." He obviously doesn't care whether or not L would want this information revealed. The older man considers Matt for another second before continuing, "and what about you huh?" He asks. "Do _you_ know who Kira was?"

This is the part Matt has been worried getting to. He has arrived at a crossroads, and has only a vague idea as to what lies ahead, regardless of which way he goes.

Should he go with the truth? But he may be getting himself into something deeper than he intended when he decided to start working with the police, and doesn't know what he may be expected to aid them with, or if he is even willing to go along with whatever they wish for him to do.

Or should he play dumb? Of course if he goes with that answer, they may 'fill him in' anyway, since it's obvious that he is more capable then they are and they now know he has some kind of connection with L that is probably deeper than their own. He is a valuable asset to them, if he so chooses to be.

His silence is unnerving, but Matt supposes that the three men probably think he is considering whom the suspects must have been and who was finally deduced to be Kira. In a way, the redhead is wondering just that – after all, the perpetrator has never been revealed to anyone but those working directly on the case. Even World Leaders have been kept in the dark by some miracle of L's.

So, of course Matt has _some_ uncertainty in regards to who he strongly, _strongly _believes the maniac was…

_Sod it_. He thinks, sighing at the decision to throw caution to the wind if only to satisfy his own curiosity. He'll tell them the truth.

"I'm…" A small quirk of his lips at his words, "97% sure I know who Kira was." The percentage of course, is totally off the top off his head since Matt has no idea how L can even measure things like that.

A strange blanket of understanding falls over the room, coaxing them all into silence. No one seems to be sure how to proceed, making the silence stretch for over a minute before it is destroyed without mercy by the ringing of the redhead's phone.

"**Fuck,**" he accidentally lets slip in English; hopeful of the fact no one in the room knows the language. "Excuse me." He tags on, flipping the phone open with a barely-there grimace. "H-"

"Not another word."

Matt wearily rubs at his eye, "Hi to you too." He doesn't even care that the conversation is being listened in on with rapt attention. Why should it be his problem? It isn't, he has enough of those himself thank-you-very-much.

"Whatever Matt knows, which I fear is more than I originally thought, is not the basis for his conversations with my former taskforce." Kudos to L, he only sounds slightly worried. "If you have something to say that you think I wouldn't like them knowing, I suggest you either hold your tongue or use another language. I'm not joking."

"Do you ever?" Matt jokes. "I have no idea what you're talking about. **I'm bluffing you idiot. I don't know who it is, ok? I'm just trying to get on their good side. It'll help things move along smoother.**" Green eyes avoid the irritated ones of his eavesdroppers.

There is silence on the other end of the line, and Matt makes sure his expression is confused with a badly hidden hint of amusement, knowing the detective must be watching and thanking the God's for his acting ability. It's only when he's face to face with the others at home that this ability seems to dull, although he has no idea why.

"I understand. I'm sorry if I have messed with Matt's plans, but I'm sure he can fix any mishaps." Comes L's monotone voice, without the slightest bit of apology. Bastard. "Goodbye."

He hangs up. Matt blinks at the abrupt ending, unsure if he should trust that L believed a word out of his mouth, and deciding that the raven-haired man is too paranoid to believe him so easily. Without bothering to hide the fact he has been hung up on, Matt flips his phone closed and shoves it back in his pocket.

"Sorry about that," he smiles, seeing the burning curiosity in the policemen's eyes and ignoring it, "A colleague of mine. We've had a slight… problem, but it nothing to worry about." Thankfully, they seem to swallow his half-lie easily. The redhead is now sure he needs to steer clear of any conversation involving Kira, since L has pretty much told him so straight out. "Well, my breaks over. Back to work you slumps!" He playfully grins, acting oblivious as he hops up and over to where he has settled down his precious laptop.

There is the sound of commotion behind him, harsh whispers that are most probably Aizawa towards Matsuda, since Mogi is constantly silent. Matt only half-listens to the quiet argument, catching on to the fact that Aizawa thinks they should dig deeper but the younger man is against it.

What is L's problem with these cops anyway? Matt can't quite figure it out. Is it because they have met him in person so he is cautious in regards to them? But he's never really been worried about Matt, Light, Near or M-Mello knowing his appearance.

_Great,_ Matt flinches, _it always somehow relates back to Mello. Jesus, maybe my head _isn't_ screwed on straight. _

With a drawn out sigh, the redhead yanks his goggles back over his eyes, a safety mechanism he's had since Wammy's to distance himself. He's been trying all week to just _not think_ about the blond. During this period, Matt has discovered that it's a practically impossible feat because Mello is so ingrained into his life.

Invading twat.

The hushed argument is still taking place behind him, like a constant buzz in the back of the young detective's mind. It's starting to get a bit annoying. As great as it feels being in charge of his own taskforce (because they are _his _now, not L's) the redhead desperately misses being back home.

He supposes, really, that he misses his family. Because that's what they are, L, Light, Near and Mello. He misses L and Light arguing like an old married couple, when he can see how much enjoyment their banter brings them. He can't really say he misses Near, since even though he has been spending so much time at the NPA he has still kept on with his visits – it is a shame that L won't have the albino live with them, for whatever reason.

Then there is Mello. After his break down, Matt has forcibly cut off any and all notions to do with the blond. He stares unseeing at his laptop screen, thoughts running like data through his skull. It is cowardice to ignore the problem anymore, so maybe the redhead should just take the plunge and think this through logically? Matt grimaces at the thought, but knows he can't ignore Mello much longer. It's too hard.

Ok, so is he gay or something? The redhead frowns slightly – he's never even entertained that idea before. Well… has he ever been with a girl? No, but he had a crush on that one kid back at the orphanage, didn't he? He can't even remember her name – all that springs to mind are blue eyes and blond hair…

…Holy shit on a stick.

Dawning horror claims he teen's expression. No way, _no way!_ Did he…? But then… What about…? Argh.

He's screwed then, is that it? Matt feels himself drawing in, head falling forward, barely held up by shaking hands. One of the trains of thought whizzing through his head informs him that with L watching, he looks awfully suspicious, but he can't bring himself to care.

An exhaled breath tries to calm him down, the _logical_ side of his brain telling him that he's totally over-reacting, that this information doesn't change anything about him and he's still the same person he had been a week ago.

Needless to say, Matt isn't listening to the logical side of his brain.

It shouldn't be like this. It was never supposed to be like this! He and Mello are best friends damn it! It's just… not fair. It's never been fair.

He's gay and apparently is in… like with his best (probably straight) friend.

So, that's what it all comes down to in the end. On the bright side, he might be bi, or Mello-sexual.

Matt can't help but laugh out loud at that one. Mello-sexual, yeah that sounds about right, with the blond being the person his freaking _life_ revolves around. Ignoring the questioning looks he's doubtlessly getting, the redhead reflects on how he can barely function properly without Mello. It's a bit pathetic actually.

Maybe Bastard could tell he was a faggot from the start, hence fucking him into the ground.

Something snaps.

"Oh well!" He declares, throwing his arms in the air. Green eyes catch those of the three cops, and Matt grins, "my life is really fucked up, did you know that?" The stare at him like he's gone mad, and maybe he has, but he feels better than he has in ages, so who cares? "I guess not. Maybe I'll help you one day – like _really_ help you, not 'help' you for my own selfish reasons." He's really rambling now, so stops dead in his tracks, wondering what's wrong with him all of a sudden.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" That one was, predictably, Aizawa. "You're not making any sense."

"No, I'm not." He agrees, the weight of everything making him slump visibly.

"Well I guess all the smart ones are weird in one way or another; L and you I mean. Funny, Light was never-" The man's mouth suddenly snaps shut when he realises what he had been saying. Matt's head shoots up.

No one breathes. The room is deathly silent.

Matt's suspicions are confirmed. He doesn't let it show on his face though, knowing unconsciously that L and Light are too paranoid not to still watch him. Instead he looks confused, which isn't particularly hard, since he is still honestly confused about a lot of things.

The cops are watching him intently too, making the redhead feel like someone has switched a spotlight on him. How to react, how to react?

The silence drags on for what feels like minutes - although Matt knows it can't have been that long – before he finally moves. Blankly, he closes his laptop and picks it up, face unreadable.

Then, suddenly, it's as if someone presses play again as Matt's face splits into a carefree smile. "I've got to go, I'm pretty sure I left some important case notes back home. Can't work without them, so I'll see you all tomorrow."

There is no room for argument, even with his voice light as it is.

* * *

AN-

I miss Mello. I'm sure you all miss Mello too. Don't worry, he'll be back next chapter, and he wants ANSWERS! Yay! Answers are good!

Matt has gone a bit insane. He's reminding me of Light. I blame this on the fact I was multi-tasking. Reading LxLight and writing this at the same time has made it a bit... I don't know... Kira-central. Damn, the man just won't lie down and die will he?

Ok I'll leave L and Light and whatever occured between them 5 years ago alone now. I'm sure you all want the _real_ plot right? (Yes it has a plot believe it or not) I'll try and stay focused. I swear.

_Reviews are nice :) /hint hint/_


	10. Chapter 10

AN- I should probably mention this, but no, I _don't_ own MSN and never will. I'm just using it because I abuse it myself. Hey I'm even on it now. I guess that gives a tiny hint at what will be in this chapter, huh? :)

DOUBLE DIGITS YAY. Still a longgg way to go I'm sorry :( I hope people don't get bored of the story since it's going to be pretty darn long…

* * *

The car is quiet; the only sound being the hum of its engine. The redhead sits sprawled across the leather backseat, eyes staring unseeing out of the window as their owner loses himself in thoughts.

Matt has to keep repeating the facts he knows for sure in his head, because God knows that it's like grasping at water otherwise. There are a lot of facts, so this keeps him busy throughout the duration of the ride.

To start off, he is _pretty damn sure_ that Light _is_ or _was_ Kira.

This should probably be a big deal to him, but he doesn't really know what to make of it. Sure, the brunet is a distrustful, sarcastic, pig-headed, egotistical holier-than-thou individual - who apparently has homicidal tendencies - but who is Matt to judge? How ironic, those were the kinds of people that Kira originally 'judged' himself.

Secondly, L knows this and is letting said criminal live and work with him, instead of the death he should have received five years ago. Hell if Matt knows why though.

This is definitely dangerous for _everyone_ in the freaking building, so it would have been nice if the detective had informed himself and Mello of just _whom_ they are sharing their living space with.

Then again, its possible Mello would have over-reacted (if it can even be called that) at this news and like… killed Light or something. Which would be a bit of a shame because the redhead thinks of Light as a part of their little dysfunctional family.

Thirdly - trailing on from his previous train of thought - the Japanese police, who have previously met and worked with L, seem to know something is not right. To make it worse, Light's father is the fucking _chief-of-police _and Matt is damn sure the older Yagami is spending every second of his life trying to find _L_ so he can find _facts_ or _closure_ or something.

What a mess. Really though, what has that stupid duo got themselves into? Surely there had been an easier way to deal with all of this, _before_ innocent 'ole Matty got tangled up in this web of lies and deceit. Well, it's really too late to worry about the past now, since the redhead had nothing to do with the original investigation, being too busy at the time making sure that his blond friend wasn't plotting his own murder of a certain albino's favourite robot.

Finally - and most importantly, since a guy needs to have his priorities right – is his sudden realisation that what he feels for Mello goes beyond the simple _friendship _he originally thought it had been. Yep, Matt definitely has his priorities right.

What _will_ he do about Mello though? He's not even talking to the blond…

This thought makes the redhead glumly slam his head against his headrest. Mello has noticed, of course, that Matt is blatantly ignoring his existence, but started resorting to glaring from afar after just the second day. That isn't very promising.

Matt drags a hand over his face in defeat. Relationships are his _thing _damn it! L, Near and Mello have always, _always_ failed in this particular area, so Matt allowed himself to excel at it during Wammy's. That way, he knew that no matter how much he put off his studies in preference to playing games, he would always have some kind of use to Mello when he succeeded L. Mello has _always_ been the one to succeed L in Matt's mind.

Why is it then that now that it comes down to it, he can't even figure out his _own_ relationship problems - the ones that _really_ matter? He releases a breath that sounds more like a whine as the building comes into view. Times up. Again.

The expensive car rolls through the security checks with irritating ease, as if some higher power is mocking him, laughing it up as he nears closer to his self-decided doom. They pull up in the underground parking lot, and Matt gives himself a minute to try and sort through his thoughts before he heads inside…

…Nope still nothing. The redhead unbuckles his seatbelt, arm going out to open the door, all movements purposely slow and deliberate. Hey he might as well draw this out, right?

Suddenly, a calm voice cuts through his worried thoughts like a knife. "I suggest you don't think too hard on it." Matt looks up at Watari, who has been silently driving until now, in shock. The old man reads the question before it is spoken, replying, "I don't know what it is that is bothering you so intensely, but sometimes the best answer is to just not think about it so deeply."

Matt watches him for a second, letting the words sink in before he opens the door and gets out. "Thank you Mr Wammy. I'll try," he says, getting out a cigarette for a much needed smoke.

Idly, the redhead wonders if he should quit, since the addiction is becoming a bit of a nuisance, but the thought is fleeting, because smoking really does help calm his nerves, and he just doesn't have the time to be fighting cravings.

* * *

The investigation room is strangely quiet when Matt enters; the tapping of fingers against keyboards being the only noise.

The first thing he notices, of course, is that Mello isn't present. The redhead is no longer confused when he feels a pang of sadness, guessing it must be some kind of side affect of him liking the blond 'that way'.

It makes sense that Mello isn't there anyway. If he were, he would have seen L and Light spying on Matt at the police headquarters and heard the phone call. If that had been the case, Mello would have figured out the truth about Light too. Matt almost feels bad that the blond is so out of the loop.

He wanders over to his usual seat on the couches, seeing no need to go on his computer when his laptop is just as good and the sofa is comfier anyway. As the redhead boots up his laptop, his eyes drift over to watch L and Light, who have ignorantly ignored his entrance and are typing away like their lives depend upon it.

Green eyes lock onto Light's back. So, this boy (or he must have been a boy at the time, Matt supposes) was L's greatest rival, and has killed more people then Matt cares to think about…

The teen suddenly gets a chill, because although he has had suspicions about the brunet for quite a while now, to have it suddenly _proved_ that the person he has begun to see as one of them is _Kira_… well it is understandable that it is fucking creepy as hell.

Didn't Kira want L dead? What has changed? It is true that L and Light have their fair share of fights that more often than not get out of hand, but have either of them ever shown any want or desire to kill the other?

No. That much Matt is sure of.

He sighs, knowing that it will be too hard to concentrate on anything worthwhile for some time now that his mind is in such shambles. Despite this, Matt still makes an attempt to work.

Only a case and a half later, the jingling starts. Matt suddenly stops his typing, something about the noise rattling his computer-nerd mind. It is related to a program, he is sure… Green eyes flick over to the duo; unable to see whatever it is on their screens.

Less than a second later, the jingle goes off again. Oh. A red eyebrow is raised in curiosity. MSN? As Matt stares dubiously for a minute or two, he comes to an almost amusing revelation.

Judging from the rhythm of the clacking of keys, and the timing of the annoying jingle, the idiotic geniuses are _talking to each other._

Well, this is a _very_ good excuse to put off depressing work. Matt hesitates, noting that despite his dedication to putting all the scum behind bars, he is still extremely lazy, and wondering if it is normal to want to talk to two people who are obviously wary of him right now instead of working on getting more people off the streets.

But hey, he _is_ waiting for some vital data concerning three simultaneous cases. Without that, he can only start on a new case, but why overwork himself? Maybe this will be like a break or something.

Decision made, the redhead signs onto his MSN, restraining a laugh at how the duo have suddenly stopped typing. He opens up a new window with both L and Light.

Technologic009: Hi guys

Just-Ice: Hello Matt.

Light: Hey.

- Your names are ridiculous.

Technologic009: Spoilsport. ;)

Just-Ice: I think my name is a very good play on words. Perhaps Light doesn't understand it?

Light: Of course I understand it L.

Just-Ice: Light is just boring. :)

Technologic009: Lol so true.

Just-Ice: Lol?

Light: Please don't tell me you don't know what lol is. Please.

Technologic009: :o

Just-Ice: Laugh out loud

Light: Lol, then why…?

Just-Ice: You did it again! I can clearly see and hear both of you.

- Light did not just laugh

- And Matt didn't before either

Matt catches L's eye when the detective spins his chair deliberately and gives them both a look to prove his point. The redhead huffs out a laugh at this. He decides to mess with L's head in a way only true Internet Lurkers can, to see if he can confuse the recluse.

Technologic009: Omg L wtf ultimate fail! Roflmao :P

Just-Ice: Excuse me?

Technologic009: Lulz! Omg Light I got pwnage all up in this n00b's grill XD

Light: You sound like a retard.

Just-Ice: I think Matt may have a virus.

Technologic009: The only virus I have are the two hackers sitting in this very room. Really guys, hacking into the police's computer system? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

- …I think that's a federal offence.

Just-Ice: I can do whatever I want. I'm L.

Light: Msn conversations are monitored you know.

Technologic009: This is me you're talking to. I can deal with that later.

- You know I don't care L. I'm not a police officer and I trust that it was done with the right intentions. I'm not going to go around screaming it from the rooftops, so stop ignoring me.

Matt is fairly certain that he isn't just talking about the hacking now. It's impossible for L and Light to miss his hidden message. It's not even hidden _well _for Christ's sake. The clacking of keys is still audible, suggesting that either one of the geniuses are multi-tasking.

Technologic009: Arghhh cba working atm tbh :/

Light: L has no clue what you're saying you know.

Technologic009: Yep. Hey where's Mello? :S

Just-Ice: Collecting witnesses.

Technologic009: Aww :) He's probably intimidating them into submission right now. But you see no problem with that obvs.

Just-Ice: I am just glad he is on our side lol.

Light: Why Matt, is that what he does with you? Intimidate you into being his submissive little bitch? Lmao!

The redhead stops. That's not it. That's not it at all. He frowns.

Maybe he should tell them about his feelings for Mello, getting it off his chest somehow might make him feel better or something. At first he had thought that he was loyal to Mello because the blond had been the first person to try and befriend him, and because something about the boy just… pulled him in somehow.

Holy shit, how long has he felt this way about his best friend? Matt starts typing slowly, deciding that right now, telling either of them would be too reckless and pointless.

Technologic009: I'm not Mello's bitch. He couldn't top a girl if he tried.

The truth is Matt doesn't even want to let his mind slip down that dangerous road. It's an impossible situation anyway, so what does it matter who he thinks would top? It would be very weird of him to come out and say 'oh yes of course I'm Mello's bitch. He'd bang me so hard I wouldn't be about to walk for a month.'

… Nice. Matt blushes hard.

The conversation winds down, Matt only continuing due to procrastination. He decides not to mention the slip up that Aizawa had back at the police station, when he said Light's name. L and Light must be wondering what conclusions he is coming to from that seemingly random name, but he really doesn't want to have to drag all of that back up. For now.

Unthinkingly, the redheaded teen types again.

Technologic009: Why did you do it?

He leans back on the couch, eyeing the screen idly and wondering why he even bothered bringing up something that is obviously like walking on eggshells. The background noise of steady typing slows to a stop, but green eyes stay trained on the laptop in front of them.

He could be asking either of them this question, and it could honestly be about anything. Why did Kira kill? Why did Light become such a murderous psychopath? The answer directly from Light himself.

Or L, why did L not kill Kira? Or send him to prison at least? Why is the murderer with the highest hit count in history living under the roof of the detective with the highest arrest count? When both of them _know_ this?

Matt doesn't know who will reply, or what answer he may get, but he figures it's worth a shot to try and understand at least _some _of what goes through their heads.

Suddenly, without warning, there is a flurry of movement. Matt unconsciously flicks his eyes in the direction of the movement, only to see Light typing furiously away at his computer. Ah, so his answer will be from the brunet? He seems to be getting awfully passionate in whatever speech he is putting together for the redhead.

He looks close to punching a hole through his keyboard.

Almost too calmly, L slowly lifts his arm up in Light's direction. The brunet is ignoring the detective though, continuing his no doubt impressive piece of literacy even as the pale hand reaches out in front of him. Matt watches blankly as L brings his finger down mercilessly on what he guesses is the back key, holding it for a minute to delete Light's speech.

There is silence. Matt doesn't move, Light doesn't move.

L retracts his hand without a word, and then with a quick flourish, his hands barely dance along his own keyboard. Brown and green eyes shoot back to their screens in curiosity at the sound of the familiar jingle.

Just-Ice: For the lulz.

…

* * *

The hours after what had been quite a momentous conversation seem to fly by. Mello returned from wherever he had been harassing people, and Matt tried his best to ignore the raging butterflies in his stomach every time the blond opened his mouth, even if not to speak to him.

Matt lounges on the sofa, laptop discarded on the table beside him. He stares at the ceiling. A million things fly through the teen's mind, as usual.

The nightmares have gotten worse over the course of the week, and even though the bruises on his face have cleared, there is no mistaking the dark circles forming beneath his eyes. He's losing sleep. Obviously.

Luckily, Matt's goggles are doing a pretty good job of hiding the smudges, but it won't be long before his sleepless nights catch up with him. Of course, the redhead is pretty used to _late_ nights, and the odd all-nighter now and then – what kind of gamer would he be if he wasn't – but this is getting ridiculous.

Matt snaps out of his reverie when an upside-down face blocks his lovely view of the ceiling. The ceiling-blocker is recognised immediately. "Hey."

"Hey." Mello states. Intense blue eyes stare directly at him, knocking all the air from his lungs. Oh hey, the butterflies are acting up again. Lovely. "You coming?"

It takes every ounce of the teen's self-control to stomp violently down on the automatic answer that springs to mind. Literally. His cheeks flood crimson. "S-sure…" Jesus Christ is that _his_ voice? Surely it's not normally that… _strangled _sounding? Mello also raises an eyebrow at this observation.

"…Right. Whatever, lets go." Then the face disappears. Flustered for no reason - other than _Mello spoke to him and oh God he was so close – _Matt clambers to his feet and ignores the stares of the older pair, dutifully following Mello like a puppy, forgetting to even pick up his laptop.

Mello is ranting all the way up the stairs, something about his day with the 'troublesome fucking bastards' and how he 'shown them he wasn't fucking _camp _damn it!' – but Matt barely registers half of it.

His mind is so wrapped up in his screwed sleep cycle, that the redhead doesn't notice himself stopping next to the blond outside his room. He comes back to present with a simple snap of fingers between the eyes, blinking at his friend.

"You got some reason for standing there like a zombie? Seriously, I bet you weren't listening to a fucking word I said! Jesus Christ…" the blond stops himself before he goes on another rant. Matt can see Mello eyeing him out of the corner of his eye, blushing under the gaze. _Again._ God, what was he, twelve? Stupid, stupid, stupid stu-

Sigh. "Come on." Matt's head whips around to see Mello standing with his door open, looking at the floor with a weird expression on this face. Without thinking or questioning, the redhead automatically follows 'orders' and enters the dark room.

As the door clicks shut, Matt regrets his decision. Mello flicks on the lights and flops backwards onto his bed, propping himself up at the wall and unthinkingly retrieving a chocolate bar from his bedside cabinet. Matt stands awkwardly, for once not knowing what to do with himself. The blond is still watching him, and pulls his knees up in what Matt takes to be an invitation. The teen takes the offer, sitting cross-legged on the space now available on the bed.

There is a silence. Matt still refuses to look anywhere near Mello. Mello refuses to look anywhere _but_ Matt. The redhead gets the sick feeling that Mello can see how uncomfortable he is – is watching every twitch and swallow that he takes.

Of course, the fact that Mello's attention is on him –_solely_ on him – is causing a _very_ bad reaction. Good on normal occasions, but bad _because_ Mello is watching him. Will probably notice _every part _of him.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. The redhead can't tell how long they sit there, as he is trying to concentrate on anything _other _than his current location. Which is on his best friend's bed, with his best friend. Who he is currently infatuated with…

Matt's thought cycle continues on in this way until the other teen breaks him out of his daze. "Are you going to tell me or will this be a guessing game?" Green eyes finally lock in on baby blues. "I don't have the patience for this. You know I don't." Mello's voice still remains level, but there is an underlying current of anger that he can't seem to get rid of.

"I…" _don't want you to hate me. Don't want you to be disgusted with me. Don't want you to pity me. _"… Want to tell you." Matt holds Mello's gaze, despite how hard he is finding it. His eyes are doing that annoying stinging thing like he is going to cry, but no tears even attempt at escaping the redhead's lids.

Mello chews thoughtfully on his chocolate. "Nothing is stopping you." He replies.

The redhead takes a deep breath through his nose, calming his erratic nerves. He moves on the bed so he is mimicking Mello's position next to him. His head falls back against the wall, "no… I guess not." He can tell how much this dodging the issue is killing the blond. Mello is putting up a pretty convincing act of indifference, but the atmosphere around him is still on edge.

Not being one to sit quietly, Mello continues on. "Is it something to do with why you've been ignoring me for the past week?" Matt decides that his friend at least deserves _some_ answers. He hates being in the dark after all.

"Yeah. I just needed to… think over some things. I thought that…" He swallows, "if I ignored you, it would stop. Thought I could prove," _that I didn't need you._

"Prove?"

"I don't want you to hate me." Matt's voice breaks half way through the sentence. His throat tightens painfully, and he downright refuses to acknowledge the way his friend shifts beside him to better analyse him. His confession must be setting off all kinds of alarm bells in Mello's head. He doesn't really care. "You'll hate me."

Mello doesn't say anything for exactly 3 minutes and 37 seconds. "Nothing can be bad enough that I won't get over it. You should know that, with you, I'm never going to hold a grudge." Matt tries to swallow the lump in his throat, tries to clear his head and judge things logically. Logic is his safety net.

Well obviously, Mello is picking his words carefully. He seems to sense that he is walking on thin ice right now, and is trying to coax the answers out of his friend without being too pushy.

Matt doesn't know if he should be thankful that Mello is trying this with him, or just pissed off that he's being treated like a mental patient. "I don't know about this one… It's pretty bad."

"Christ Matt, you know, this is starting to really get on my nerves. I don't care if you fucking… robbed a bank or some shit! Just _tell _me already!" The blond angrily yells as he slams his hand against the bed with an audible _crack_ of his chocolate bar and turns so he is mostly facing his friend.

Matt gives his next action less than 0.00000002 seconds thought. Which obviously explains why before he knows what he was doing, the redhead has darted forward and softly pressed his lips against his best friend's parted ones.

He stays there for two whole seconds, having a mental meltdown. On the third second, a fist connects with the side of his face, and the redhead smashes his skull against the wall.

Even through the dancing stars, Matt can see the blonds' face, flushed in what he has _no _doubt is fury. He feels something warm and sticky rolling down the right side of his face – blood from where his goggles have dug deep into his temple. On reflex, a hand goes to the injury, and somewhere in the back of his mind, the redhead wonders what God has against him to try so often recently to _kill_ him.

"What," Hisses Mello, "was _that?_" Matt can't bring himself to look at the other anymore, resigning himself to a life of pain and sadness.

_It may seem a bit melodramatic, _Matt thinks, _but right now, that's what my life seems to have sunk to._ "I told you it was bad." He chokes. "I'm sorry."

Before Mello can hit him again, Matt clambers to his feet. He sways for a moment, the blood rushing to his head from getting up so fast - which of course is bad since he is _bleeding from the head_ – but he ignores any health worries and staggers for the door.

Mello still hasn't moved from the bed, and Matt still refuses to look back.

He barely makes it out the door before the stars in front of his eyes and the sick feeling in his stomach become too much to bear…

…Matt doesn't get two feet before collapsing and blacking out.

AN-

I abuse the italics button. Huh.

The msn here is a very simple version. To make my life easier. Hahaha Technologic came on my iTunes half way through writing that bit.

WHY AM I SO VIOLENT IN THIS STORY? I'm such a closet sadist. Haha.

Reviews make Light come up with a better msn screen-name. Come on he really needs that one. XD


	11. Chapter 11

AN- Woo I managed to keep to my one chapter a month rule! Barely XD Anyways, on with the story!

Edit - Sorry if this reappears in people's emails but I just changed a kinda obvious mistake that no one managed to call me out on XD I fixed it now though... I think.

* * *

Matt's first conscious thought is of how hard his pillow is. And since when has he slept on his stomach? And with his goggles on at that?

As his eyes flutter open however, he realises that – of course! – He slept on the floor last night. How lovely. Why is he there again? The redhead asks himself this as his dead arm twitches in a desperate attempt at reviving itself. Well let's see, he was walking up to his room, and made a detour to Mello's…

Well shit, _now_ it all comes flooding back. The redhead grimaces.

He groggily pulls himself to his hands and knees, taking a mental note of the worrying amount of dried blood caking the right side of his face. As he pulls himself to stand with the help of the wall, Matt pulls off his goggles in one swift motion. Like with a plaster.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, FUCKING SONOVABITCH OW." He yells. Matt grits his teeth as he stands up, trying and actually succeeding to clear his mind of its morning fuzziness. Ignoring the burning pain by his eye, the redhead heads down the hall towards the lift, goggles swinging at his side.

As he enters the lift, the redhead actually thinks about what he's done. He _kissed _Mello - his _best friend_. Fear takes over any other emotion he may have been feeling, seeping in through the gaps in his brain and making his heart fall to the depths of his stomach.

Matt is so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he doesn't pay attention to where he is going until the doors of the lift side open. Light's shocked face staring straight at him snaps the teen out of his reverie like a slap to the face.

For a few seconds they just stare at each other, Matt opening and closing his mouth as he searches for something to say and Light accessing his wounds in shock. He redhead feels his heart speed up in fear. This man… this _monster_ is _Kira_.

Harder than the previous day, the teen is hit with the sheer severity of his situation. The man standing not 3 feet from himself, has _killed_ millions, no, _billions_ of people; how _easy_ would the brunet find it to kill _him? _The thought makes Matt shiver. He's used to dealing with all kinds of people, and likes to think that he has a pretty damn open mind – after all, if tests were run, the redhead is fairly certain that none of his comrades would be classed as completely 'sane' – but still. He's never stared death in the face before, even if he knows he's come close before.

But right now, Matt feels like this… _madman_ can see every wrong he's ever done. If Light had still been in power, would he kill the redhead? Matt doesn't know the answer, and that terrifies him.

Finally, Light seems to come to some kind of conclusion. "Good morning Matt. I was just coming to look for you actually, you're normally up and at the station by now."

"Err… yeah it's a bit of a long story… what time _is _it exactly?" Asks the redhead, trying to bite down on his fear because he should _trust_ L's judgement and if the detective is ok with Light being, well, _alive_, then he has nothing to fear. Light quickly checks his watch.

"Quarter past ten." He replies. Matt gives him a nod of the head as he passes him by on the way out of the lift. "Where are you going?" He stops dead in his tracks. "…Don't you want a shower or something?"

"…Yeah, but since I'm down here, I'm just going to grab my laptop. I forgot to bring it up last night." He explains, coming up with the excuse on the spot. "Are you coming?"

The older man nods and strides down the hall with him, asking over his shoulder, "when was the last time you ate?" Oh shit. The teen stays silent. Caramel eyes look over at him disapprovingly.

"It slipped my mind," he grumbles, having honestly forgotten the last time he put something anywhere near his mouth. Not including Mello of course, but that's beside the point. "What are you anyway? My mother?" Lack of sleep, food and all the stress the redhead is under are making him snappy and moody.

"God no, you may have stolen my looks – even if they are no where near as handsome – but we are most defiantly _not_ related." He superiorly voices. Matt has to admit, they do look a _tiny_ bit similar, but that's not what he even meant. "I'm just subtly letting you know that you look like shit and a good meal would probably make you look less like you just crawled back from your own grave. It seems your lack of basic human needs has slowed your brainpower down. You'll be no use to anyone like this."

Of course, the brunet is probably right, so Matt intelligently replies with "Fuck you" and walks a bit faster. He hears Mother Light mutter something about immaturity and 'teenagers these days' and only just restrains himself from commenting on how Light was spending _his_ time when he was eighteen.

Hypocrite if he ever did see one. Light somehow easily keeps in step with the teen's power-walk, so they both reach the doors at the same time.

L and Mello glance up as they enter the room, the blond quickly turning back to his screen. The older detective stares at Matt face for a moment, then looks to Mello and eventually to Light, who the redhead sees give a barely noticeable shrug of his shoulder. "What happened?"

"Oh its nothing," Matt smiles, "I just went out last night to get some cigarettes and ended up having a disagreement with some muggers. I passed out and only got in now, so I just came to fetch my laptop." Considering he came up with it on the spot, Matt decides that his story was pretty good.

Whether L believes him or not, the detective doesn't say anything more on the subject, shooting one more unreadable look to Mello before spinning back around on his chair to face his computer.

Matt feels like he can breathe easier. He quickly collects his laptop, and turns to leave for a much needed shower. However, Light's voice interrupts him before he's even got two steps. "I don't think you should go to the police headquarters today." He looks over at the brunet, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not joking Matt, if you keep going on like this, you're going to make yourself sick. You need food and a decent nights sleep. Just take it easy around here for today, alright?"

The teen is about to protest, when a pair of icy blue eyes catches his attention. He's doing it extremely subtly, but Matt can see that Mello is looking him over from head to toe.

Without his coat on, the redhead realises that the blond can see just how thin he's looking. Without his goggles, his injury is painfully obvious.

Mello almost looks worried.

That decides it then. Even if the chances of Mello giving a flying fuck about him anymore are pretty much non-existent, even that tiny possibility is enough to make Matt put his laptop back down on the table in defeat. "I'm just going to take a shower." He mumbles, making a hasty escape out of there.

Matt spent as little time as possible washing and changing, leaving his goggles on in a futile attempt at covering his wound, even though he knew the others have all seen it. He soon finds himself back in the investigation room. Watari has prepared some kind of foreign buffet for him, laid out on the table beside his laptop. The redheaded teenager dives right in, throwing aside his table manners in favour of getting as much of the fuel as possible down his throat.

When only scraps of food are left scattered across the table, the fulfilled gamer slumps back against the couch. He feels like he's a part of a Sims game, and all his bars are in red. He needs to get them all back up to green again, but at least he has hunger, bladder and hygiene sorted. That just leaves energy, social and fun.

As it is basically a Sims rule, Matt knows he won't be socialising or having any kind of fun until his energy levels are dealt with. Sleep it is then.

The redhead suddenly realises how exhausted he is. When was the last he got a good nights rest? It feels like forever ago. Just the thought of sleep is enough to make his eyelids droop.

The teenager makes the tired assumption that if he so much as tries to stand he's going to fall headfirst onto the floor, and after spending a while down there last night, Matt has decided that it is definitely _not_ the best place to sleep.

So instead, the redhead pulls his coat off and dumps it over the back of the sofa, letting his body fall sideways onto the couch and pulling his legs up. A good old nap on the sofa is just what he needs. Ignoring the sounds of talking and the clacking of computer keys is easy for him, so it isn't long before the gamer drifts off into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

A few hours later, the redhead surfaces from his deep sleep. He blinks his green eyes slowly, confused by the orange tinted table in his view. The confusion is gone before it can be properly processed, slipping away as Matt rolls onto his back and arches his back like a cat.

That was a _damn_ good sleep. But why is he wearing his goggles again? With a grunt the teenager dismisses the thought. His eyes once again crack open, squinting slightly at the fluorescent lights beaming from above him.

As he sits up, pushing his goggles up to rub at his eyes - wincing as he rubs his wound - awareness seeps back into his mind. Matt guesses that it must be close to time for him to head up to his room, even if he isn't expecting to get anymore sleep up there. The teen feels elevated after his sleep, finally having caught enough shuteye to feel totally refreshed.

"How long was I out?" He asks L's crouched back, neither of the detectives having turned around at the redhead's movement.

"It is approximately 11:45pm so I would hazard a guess that Matt has been 'out' for 11 hours and 47 minutes." The man replies. Matt blinks in shock at wasting the whole day, automatically looking to where Mello should be but finding him missing; _again._ After asking where the blond is, Matt is told that his friend left 3 hours earlier without telling anyone where he was going.

Suddenly, L abandons his work in favour of spinning his chair and settling a stare on the teen. "What is going on between Matt and Mello?" He asks, sounding almost like a curious child with his head tilted to the side. Matt's breath gets caught in his throat, a barely noticeable reaction on his completely blank face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about L."

"Your raging blush tells me otherwise, Matt." The raven-haired detective states. The gamers face flushes harder, both embarrassed by the memory of exactly _why_ Mello won't look at him, and irritated at his body's responses for giving him away.

He looks away, thinking. There's no way he's telling L the real reason the blond probably wants to kill him, after all, the redhead doubts L will be able to properly sympathise. The heartless bastard will probably just look at him like he's a total idiot (…which he sort of _is_) and start shooting off all his calculations and how _logically, _after what Matt did, he's surprised Mello hasn't _killed_ him. Even the thought depresses the teen.

But getting out of this without some kind of answer that's at least _close_ to the truth will be impossible. The redhead chooses his words carefully, weighing them out on his tongue. "Well… I just decided to tell him the truth, and - to say the least - Mello didn't take it too well…" Not a word of a lie, granted it was the edited version for sure.

"I see…" L is still staring at him, but the teen barely notices, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to care about what the detective is searching for, or thinking about himself. Light hasn't moved or shown an outward interest in the conversation, but the redhead would definitely _not _be surprised if the brunet is also carefully dissecting his sentence.

After a few minutes, the redhead decides that he's been putting off his work for too long, and should at least _try_ to get something done before the day officially ends. He considers his discarded laptop from the table, deciding to just leave it and use the computer in his room that he neglects. He'sabout to leave for the solitude of his room, when L suddenly stops him.

"Matt, I think I have discovered a case that may be of interest to you, in the United States of America." He says. Matt frowns slightly. He should have guessed that L would find an _interesting_ case for him. Like as if he shouldn't be _wasting his time _with all the 'uninteresting' cases.

"I'm onl-"

"I know," the detective interrupts, waving off the protest, "but the cases and criminals of Japan will still be there after this one. Matt should at least check it out. If it makes him feel more justified in choosing it, there is evidence to suggest that the culprit is of Japanese origin." Matt smiles politely, finding no reason not to just look at the case.

"Ok fine L, where are the case files?" He asks.

"I have taken it upon myself to send them to Matt's laptop." He should have already guessed L would know he'd accept. "Have fun." The raven-haired detective says, slipping back around on his chair. "Try and stop injuring yourself, it seems to be happening at a peculiar rate these days." This makes Matt huff out a laugh.

"I'll try." He promises, amused, finally getting up to leave.

Halfway across the room, and the double doors open up. Matt sees a flash of blond hair, faltering for less than a second before quickly averting his eyes to the floor. He continues, planning on simply passing Mello, his heart beating a frantic symphony against his chest. The redhead is too afraid to look into the other's eyes, terrified of what he may see there – hatred? Disgust?

Matt's plans are smashed to pieces when Mello's arm comes from nowhere, shoving him hard backwards. The teen stumbles until his back connects with the wall, green eyes suddenly snapping to blue ones. He stops breathing.

Nothing. Blank. Empty.

The blond isn't looking at him in disgust, or hatred, or even anger - his eyes are frighteningly cold and void of emotion. It's the most terrifying thing the redhead has ever seen.

Mello's hand jerks out and fists in the other's shirt, effectively trapping the barely-taller male between himself and the wall. Matt looks at Mello's left shoulder, unable to keep up the connection between their eyes any longer.

The redhead vaguely notices that this causes the blond to tighten his grip, but is too busy fretting over what he might be planning on doing to him to think too hard on it. He tries to mentally prepare himself for what he's sure is coming next, wondering what L or Light will do when Mello starts pounding him in the face.

He unintentionally shrinks back against the wall, pressing as far away from the other teen as possible. The blonds' proximity is making his face explode with colour again, but somewhere in the back of his mind the teen is frozen with fear. A voice in the back of his head is reminding him of what happened the _last_ time someone was trapping him like this.

Suddenly, Mello throws himself forwards, pulling his friend down slightly to crushing their lips together violently. Matt's heart stops.

He stands frozen, his brain shutting down. He stares wide eyed at his best friend, who not a second before, he had been sure was about to beat him within an inch of his life.

The redhead almost has a heart attack when a demanding tongue forces itself past his shocked lips. A bolt of electricity jolts Matt out of his statue-like state, making the teen uncertainly puts his hands on the blonds' waist, and finally start kissing his best friend back.

Mello makes a noise that ups the voltage on the electricity in Matt's veins, wrapping his arms around the redhead's neck and pressing himself closer. The gamer is too far-gone to be thinking about anything, trying to fight down the voice screaming in fear at the back of his head, because it's wrong – this _isn't _the same. _He wants this._

"…I actually didn't see that one coming."

Mello suddenly pulls himself away, staring at Matt for a second before turning towards their audience. The blond smirks, leaving the redhead dumbfounded. "Oh really?" He taunts, somehow managing to bask in being right even while Matt is pinned against a wall beneath him.

Light – the one who had spoken – has shock written all over his face, and even L's jaw is hanging slightly open. Matt's blush deepens tenfold. "Erm…" He coughs awkwardly, totally confused and trying not to think too hard on his position right now.

"So this is what has been bothering Matt and Mello - a lover's spat?" Asks L, recovering from his shock and making Matt just about die of embarrassment. "I must admit, it's not what I was expecting at all…" He muses, nibbling on his thumb and totally abandoning his work.

Mello just smirks wider, obviously taking some kind of pleasure out of surprising his predecessor. "A lover's spat?" He asks, testing the words out on his tongue with a slight frown. Could it have be he's just realising what he's doing and regretting it? The thought makes a lump form in the teen's throat. He _really _hopes that's not the case.

"Matt," the gamer looks over the Light, and finds the brunet watching him intently, "are you ok?" Green eyes blink as everyone turns to look at him.

"Uh…" He tries to swallow the lump in his throat, succeeding only slightly. His thoughts fly about in a jumble of words and colours, the teen unable to concentrate on any one thing when there's so _much _to think through. "Just… thinking." He knows they can all understand – they all know what it's like to have a million and one things bouncing around their heads.

Matt snaps out of his thoughts when two arms remove themselves from around his neck. Mello is looking him dead in the eye, an unreadable expression on his face. That's when the redhead realises that his palms are pushing against the other teen's chest. He stares at his hands in shock. What are they doing? How long had he unintentionally been pushing Mello away?

The room is strangely silent, all it's occupants either staring at Matt's face or his hands. After spending all of three seconds deliberating, the redhead whispers 'fuck it' and pulls his best friend back up to join their lips together once again.

It's gentler then the first time, but not by much. Mello automatically wraps his arms back around Matt's neck, making the gamer moan into his mouth. The two teens ignore their audience as they make out against the wall, and the two older men just look at each other and shrug, figuring that their answers can come later.

Matt still can't believe what's going on, losing himself in the taste and smell of the one person he can ever really remember being attracted to. Some hidden corner of his mind still tries to work coherently, telling him something he had read once about people like him shying away from other's touch after what happened to them…

_It's not the same as that,_ he argues, trying to fight the thoughts back, _I trust Mello with my life. Anyway, Bastard didn't go anywhere near my mouth._ He surprises himself by being able to think the monster's 'name' so casually. The dark voice in the back of his head quiets to a dull murmur, and Matt smirks into the kiss, thrilled that – for now – he's won the battle with himself.

They both break away, realising that oxygen is a necessity. Mello cracks his eyes open and Matt watches the hunger in those familiar blue orbs in awe. The blond pants slightly, "if that's what your thinking leads to, I've been underestimating your brain all these years." He grins.

Matt finds himself laughing, feeling euphoric just from being the centre of Mello's attention. "You have no idea." He grins back, loving how the other teen's face twists in curiosity - curiosity over _him_. The thought makes his grin widen.

The redhead puts his head on Mello's shoulder, feeling tired despite his five hours of sleep. Five hours is the normal amount he gets, so it baffles him why he seems to want to sleep some more. Maybe it's so he doesn't have to watch this all end, but Matt just can't see what's going through the blonds' head right now, so of course he doesn't want it to end…

"…Matt?" Mello rumbles slightly when he murmurs. The gamer hums, wrapping his arms tighter around the other. "I think we need to talk in private. My room, or yours?" The thought of going to either of their rooms sends a tingle of unintentional worry through him, but Matt ignores it.

He sighs, realising that he needs to get it together since _Mello_ is being the voice of reason here, so something must be wrong with him. "Let's go to mine," he offers, "I'm not sure if I want to go back to your room right now, what with my recent unpleasant memories." He smirks as he imagines the blond grimace, then huff out a laugh.

"Kissing me is an unpleasant memory?" He questions in mock irritation.

The smirk turns into an embarrassed grin, his face glowing red, "Ok, bittersweet then." He concludes. "Shall we head up? I think the two old men need to get back to their sad little work-revolving lives."

"I'm not old. _He's _six years older than me! At least!" Comes Light's affronted retort, but the teen's ignore him and finally separate, Mello striding towards the doors and Matt following as usual.

"Later, gramps." The redhead grins, throwing a wave over his shoulder for good measure. Mello snorts as they exit, listening to L blankly question Light about _why_ he thinks that he's so _old_ but unable to hear Light's answer from beyond the doors.

The duo walks in silence to the lifts, the doors opening almost as soon as they arrive. Matt's mind is spinning around in spirals, not knowing what is actually going on because _what can Mello be playing at?_ Really… a million possibilities fly through his head, and the teen finds that too many of the positive reasons seem impossible… improbable… simply _ridiculous_.

But then he feels the warmth of a hand wrapping confidently around his own, and somehow, the redhead isn't so sure why being ridiculous is so bad after all.

* * *

AN- Sorry I didn't proof read... shiz is going down around me right now and I can't concentrate too well :P

As usual, reviews make me happy in my pants an all that jazz. Sorry. I always wanna say that...

Oh and about the Sims stuff, it's cause I got Sims 3 sorta-but-not-really recently and I figured Matt would automatically see things like that haha :D


	12. Chapter 12

AN-

TWO DAYS LATE DAMMIT, I DIDN'T STICK TO MY ONE CHAPTER A MONTH RULE. But hey this is a fairly long chapter... I think :)

Quite a bit of fun in this one. I think there needed to be some kind of break in the angst anyway XD

Hope you enjoy~!

* * *

The silence of the lift isn't uncomfortable, but there is definitely something unusual in the atmosphere. A strange shift that Matt can feel like a tingling on his skin like static, originating from somewhere to his right.

Curiously, he looks to the source and suddenly realises that the tingling is coming from the hand linked with Mello's. He looks down at their hands in awe, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He's touched Mello before – it would be kind of hard to avoid contact with someone you've spent practically your whole life with, after all - but _this_ reaction has never taken place before…

Mello seems to notice the green-eyed stare, squeezing the redhead's hand in response. The gamer silently curses when this causes his blush to deepen, begging any higher power that may happen to be watching to _please _not let the blond see his raging blush.

His prayers seem to be answered, as his friend (can he still be called that? Matt doesn't know) doesn't comment on it.

The gamer can't help the butterflies he feels as the metal doors part, the pair exiting the lift and walking hand-in-hand to Matt's door. Without missing a beat, the redheaded teen uses his free hand to work the handle and let them into the dark room.

Their hands separate when Matt turns the light on and notices what a pigsty he has been living in, following up this realisation by a futile attempt at cleaning it up. This cleaning consists simply of the younger teen sweeping all the odds and ends off his bed and kicking them somewhere more inconspicuous... Like _under_ said bed. The empty packets of fast food littering the space are hastily shoved into a small bin.

When his living space is looking less like a robot and Ronald McDonald had some kind of hybrid lovechild, Matt turns back to Mello, face burning in embarrassment. "Erm… I wasn't expecting visitors?" He offers with an abashed smile.

The blond just frowns, a slight smirk ghosting over his lips. "Oh come _on,_ like our room at Whammy's wasn't a million times worse than this place." He jokes, waving his hand about and taking a seat on the now clean bed, looking like he owns the place.

Matt doesn't know why he feels awkward in his own room. In all fairness, he decides, he hasn't ever really seen this as _his_ home. His home may always be that tiny room back in England that he shared for the majority of his life with the cranky, competitive, hotheaded, _gorgeous _blond staring at him even now.

Shaking away the random memories, Matt sits himself opposite Mello, not really knowing what it is they're here to 'talk' about. The blond pulls a strange face but hides it before muddled green eyes can identify what it was. Matt decides to let it go when the blond opens his mouth.

"So." A hand gestures at the space between them, "this."

Wow… is he the only one feeling this awkwardness?

Huh. If he goes any brighter a shade of red, the gamer thinks he will probably suffer some kind of health issues involving the explosion of his own head.

Mello _always _has something to say on a subject, even one bizarre as this one, so of course he can't stay quiet for long. "Well, what… _is_ this exactly, Matt?" The redhead avoids those piercing eyes, for the sake of his own health.

"Uh… air?" He says weakly, for once not knowing how to express himself.

A blond eyebrow twitches. "For fu-" He swallows, taking a breath with a scowl as he tries not to snap.

Matt realises with a jolt that Mello is the one in control here, when normally the older teen is absolutely _terrible_ at controlling his own emotions. He guesses that it must have something to do with how Mello has obviously thought more about this than he has allowed himself to, and therefore has a much better reign on his emotions right now.

Weird crap.

"I mean…" Matt begins again, trying to be mature about his, like his friend. He curses his blush, and it calms quite considerably. It's harder than it looks. "I did… uh, _kiss_ you Mels. A guy kind of assumes that should get his message across, you know?" He twists his fingers together, wringing them nervously. What has he got to be nervous about? Mello had _obviously _been kissing him downstairs; there is _nothing_ for him to worry about.

A red tinge crosses the blonds' cheeks, making Matt feel slightly better about his own tomato-coloured face. "That's true. But usually the one the guy is kissing isn't _another guy_ Matt." The redhead cringes. "_Or_ his best friend since childhood. I'd say that kind of twists the message a fucking bit, don't you?" The gamer lowers his head at his best friend's tone, ashamed and not wanting to face the other's anger.

However, his face is quickly turned back to face Mello's ice blue eyes, the touch of fingers beneath his chin surprisingly gentle. Acid green eyes look at back in confusion.

"I'm not mad at _you._" The voice is low, _almost_ as gentle as the fingers, but the anger is still there, contradicting the actual words. Matt's face clearly shows how little he believes this friend. "No, really." The blond scowls, thinking at the speed of light. He sighs harshly, pulling the redhead into a bone-crushing hug. The gamer freezes, fighting the vicious urge to push away again as he automatically turns off at the stolen contact.

"Mello?" He asks against the blonds' shoulder, refusing to call the noise he made a squeak.

"Listen Matt, just hear me out you dick." The grip on his back tightens, making his heart rate speed up, but even he can't tell if it's from fear or happiness. "I know that you have some kind of… _thing,_ going on. You're spacing out in the middle of conversations, barely eating that I know of, I'm still hearing you screaming at night-" the blond breaks of, burying his face deeper in the listening redhead's hair. "… I'm sorry about that. I didn't come to you again," he whispers harshly, "I didn't know how you'd react so…" He trails off, lessening his death grip slightly.

"Anyway," Mello continues, "You're… shying away everyone, Mail. I guess I fucking miss you." Neither of them notices the name slip up, so it isn't mentioned. "…I'm not going to ask about it though." He suddenly declares, moving away from the other teen to look in his face again. "It'll kill me, but I fucking won't. I promise."

Matt feels something in his chest hurt. He thinks it must be his heart. "I'm sorry…" He says, barely above a whisper. "I've already told you that I _want_ to tell you everything. I just fucking _can't _Mels." Almost as an afterthought, the redhead adds "yet anyway. Maybe some day… some day soon, I can?" He knows that's hope in his voice, and he knows Mello hears it too.

The blond smiles slightly, his lips pulling up in one corner to form a half-smile. "Ok. I can live with that." He replies. Matt feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders, making him smile ecstatically at the blond. "So… back to that kiss thing." Matt's smile turns sheepish, and he rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Yeah… about that," the redhead is feeling a bit more like his old self, confidence blooming like a flower waking up from it's sleep. "You must be stupid to not have noticed I like you Mello." Despite his teasing words, the gamer can't stop how red the whole situation is making him.

The blond scowls. "I'm not _stupid_ you prick." He protests, making Matt laugh lightly. "It's not exactly the most obvious thing in the world," he continues, "I mean I know you're loyal to a fault, but I just figured it was something akin to hero worship."

Matt just about dies laughing.

"_Oh God_." He gasps, clutching at his sides, "you're so f-full of yourself!" The older teen pouts at the hysterical redhead, obviously resisting the urge to punch him in the face.

"Whatever, gay-boy." He huffs, crossing his arms. Matt calms down, swallowing his laughter.

"You jumped me. That's a bit gay itself you know." He points out.

"You started it!" Mello retorts. "Besides, I was just returning the favour," he grumbles. Matt stops himself from worrying over that statement, knowing Mello doesn't mean anything by it.

"Yeah but you also punched me in the face. Are you expecting _me _to return _that _favour?" He asks instead. The teen regrets it as soon as the words are out of his mouth, watching as Mello's face scrunches up in shame.

"Erm… sorry about the whole 'punching you in the face' thing by the way… it was kinda a knee-jerk reaction, you know?" The blond reaches a hand out to touch the wound on his face guiltily. Matt tries not to wince at the pain, but Mello must see something in his expression, because his hand drops away.

He waves it away, "don't worry about it. I've had worse Mels, if it hadn't been for the wall, it wouldn't have hurt at all!" He grins, still on a kind of high at everything that's happening. The other teen glares at the jab to his masculinity, but doesn't mention it.

Matt can't help but use this chance to stare at Mello. He takes in the bright blue colour of his eyes, sparkling with intelligence. His golden hair, that so often gets him insults about femininity, cut into practically a perfect line at his chin.

He wonders what on Earth the genius sees in him. He's got _red_ hair and he wanders around in _goggles _for Christ's sake! The kids at Whammy's used to mock him over his looks, but he never paid them any mind, because why should he care what he looks like? Looks were never important in his life.

Now however, Matt remembers the mocking and suddenly feels self-conscious. He diverts his gaze from blue irises, casting his eyes over his room for something to distract himself with. His eyes land on his Xbox, and he tries to remember the last time he played on it.

He can't. That is _really_ worrying.

Feeling some sudden kind of urgency, the redhead leaps off the bed and collapses beside his piles of crap. "What is it?" He hears Mello ask in surprise. Gloved hands fly through the technology, their owner trying to cast his mind back and remember…

"Where is it?" He whispers, jumping to his feet and moving around the room, searching desperately.

"Where's _what?" _The blond demands, twisting to track the redhead's movement around the room. "Matt!"

Frantic green eyes turn back to his friend (friend?), "My _PSP! _Mello where the Hell did I put my _PSP?!"_ A hand flies to his mouth in horror. "I can't remember when I last saw it. Oh _God_ what if it's at the station?" Mello frowns at him.

"Big deal Matt. You can go pick it up in the morning, it might just be downstairs or something." The blond brushes it off. The redhead moves closer to him, putting his hands on his shoulders.

"Mello that's my _baby_ you're talking about." He says lowly. The blond just blinks. "My baby has _pictures _on her. Pictures of _everyone_ in this building."

Realisation flashes in Mello's eyes. "L?" He asks, the redhead simply nodding in confirmation. The other teen considers this before speaking again. "There's no need to get all worried, right? Anyone who might pick it up won't know who he is anyway."

Matt isn't sure if Mello is supposed to know, but he decides it's fine to tell him anyway. "Mels, the taskforce I work with is made up of the same officers that worked with L on the Kira case… They know what he looks like." He deadpans. Besides, he's pretty sure he snapped a shot of L in front of his insignia for a laugh… no need to tell the blond that though. Matt's mind whirls as he tries to think of the most logical place for the device to be.

It _could_ be downstairs in the investigation room, or at the hospital with Near… But he has been spending a lot of time at the Police Station too, and like Mello said, he _has_ been zoning out a _lot_ recently…

He could have easily forgotten to pick it up on his way home one day.

"Well we'll check downstairs now then, and if it's not there, we'll just have to break into the Police Station and get it back. If it's not _there_ we'll hack the cameras and see who took it." Matt supposes that he shouldn't be surprised that Mello is already more than willing to break the law over this.

Matt lowers his head slightly, ashamed that he has possibly caused a hell of a lot of trouble. Not only in regards to L's identity, but Light's too. He had never considered it dangerous to have the photo's he's snagged of them all at the hospital with Near, or lazing around (himself and Mello), or even working (L and Light) on his games console before.

Now he wants to smack his head against something hard.

He feels a hand on the back of his neck, automatically glancing up at the blond. "Calm down you idiot. Jesus it's nothing to be worrying about, I'm willing to bet that the bloody thing is on the couch. Besides," he adds, "worse comes to worse, we'll move. It doesn't exactly _matter _where we live dumbass."

The redhead's neck is tingling at the contact, but he doesn't feel too much better. "What about Near? We can't just bring him with us, it's too suspicious…" Something flashes through Mello's eyes, gone before it can be identified.

The blond teen suddenly makes a weird noise and pulls Matt forwards, claiming his lips. The gamer stills in shock, before relaxing into the kiss, opening his mouth for the questioning tongue there.

The redhead forgets why he had been so worried when he climbs onto his best friends lap, hands gripping hard onto his shoulders.

Hell, he forgets his own name.

Their tongues fight briefly for dominance, but the younger doesn't bother putting up much of a fight, knowing that Mello won't be giving up his control any time soon.

Matt suddenly finds himself on his back - having been flipped over – with a smirking Mello straddling his hips. The blond pushes his hips down, making the redhead cry out at the pressure. "**Fu- Wha-!**"

His tormenter chuckles down at him, bending down to kiss his nose. "Now, now Matty. I thought you banned English?" Hazy green eyes blink back.

"When the hell did I do that?" He questions, not daring to move.

"Well, you're always speaking Japanese. Even when no one Japanese is around," Mello points out, leaving kisses across his captive's nose and cheeks, avoiding his lips.

"Uh…" Matt is finding it _really_ hard to concentrate with Mello lavishing him with attention like this. "I just… guessed it makes more sense to stick with the language of the country we're in… I think?" His heart rate is going at a mile a minute. The gamer swallows thickly, "a-and it makes it easier for Near, since he's crap at switching languages so fast?"

The attention is suddenly pulled away from him. Mello is glaring down at him, and the redhead is at a loss as to why. "Do you have to keep _doing_ that?!" He demands, scowling.

"W-what? Doing what?" Matt returns the gaze blankly, still out of it from the… _thing_ Mello had been doing. "What am I doing?" He asks frantically as the blond pushes himself away from him. "Mello?"

"Well if you don't _know, _it doesn't matter does it?" The blond says bitterly, fixing his top for no real reason and patting his pants down. "Well, are we going to see if you fucked up, or not?"

Matt pushes himself off the bed, looking up at his friend (?) anxiously. He has no idea what's got the blond so pissed off so suddenly, but he knows he hates it when Mello's anger is directed at _him_. Even though it's quite the common occurrence.

The younger teen moves over to the blond, wrapping his arms around him in a potentially dangerous move. "Don't be mad Mels," he says, putting his head on the other's shoulder. "You should be happy now, right? We're like… _together_, right?" He asks, unsure.

He feels the slightly shorter male huff angrily into his neck. "Yeah, if you want to be." He replies, making the redhead's heart soar. "Now we really _do_ need to check to see if we have to murder any officers of the law."

The smirk he feels against his neck should probably worry him, but Matt is too happy that he avoided the wrath of the potential killing machine in his arms to worry about said machine's state of mind.

"Of course I want to," he grins, moving out of the embrace and pecking the shorter teen on the lips. "Lets go see if I fucked up then…" The redhead sticks out his tongue at his new partner, repeating his own words back at him.

Mello's answering smirk is enough to tell him he's been forgiven for whatever it was he did.

The pair strolls down the hallway, bantering casually. Matt's previous stress over his PSP is practically gone, thanks to the surprising calmness of Mello.

The redhead is barely shocked when he is shoved against the back of the lift with another person's tongue invading his mouth. The teens kiss enthusiastically all the way down to the investigation room, before the doors open and Mello reluctantly pulls away. "I could get used to that," the blond says, still smirking, as he pulls the out of breath redhead after him.

The older teen stops just outside the investigation room, turning to his partner. "Ok. So, I vote we don't tell L or Light about this until we're sure we'll be needing their help." He says, "I can't be bothered dealing with them over it, you know?" Blue eyes bore into his, making the redhead nod dumbly.

One hand takes his own, apparently trying to keep him calm, and while Matt appreciates the gesture, he really thinks it's unnecessary. He's totally calm about all of this, after all. If anything, more than worrying about if the police have pictures of L with him and Light, the redhead has been thrown in a loop with this whole _Mello _thing.

It's not everyday you start to date your long-time best friend.

Mello opens the door a crack, freezing as soon as he can see inside. He abruptly slams the door shut again, face not betraying anything other than alarm. "What? What is it?" the redhead asks worriedly.

Blue orbs stare at the closed door for a moment before they turn – stunned – to face Matt. "I… I-I think L and Light might be dating each other." The gamer blinks, gaping.

"What the hell?" He frowns uncertainly, "L and Light… Mello there's no _way_…" the blond scowls at the doubt in the other's voice, jabbing a finger at the door.

"Oh yeah smart-arse?" He hisses, "then what were they doing, eating each other?" Both grimace at the thought, Matt watching the doors warily.

"…Let me see…" He murmurs, moving past the more-than-willing blond. He grips the doorknob cautiously, half expecting it to burn his hand. After a few seconds of deliberation, the teen turns it quietly, planning on having a quick glance into the room to determine how safe it is to enter.

At the last minute, Matt closes his eyes, hearing his partner huff at his dramatics as he cracks the door ajar and gulps. He peaks in…

…To see L and Light sitting innocently at their computers, not even acknowledging each other.

Matt blinks, turning with a raised eyebrow to the blond, silently conveying what he doesn't dare say. The older teen looks past his shoulder, a mixture of disbelief and anger washing over his face. Sky coloured eyes glance into grass green, their owner slightly red in either anger or embarrassment – Matt can't tell which. "I swear they were… you know!" He harshly whispers.

The younger teen smirks slightly in amusement, coming to a (likely wrong) conclusion. "Wow Mels, that's pretty kinky." He whispers back, "but really, those two? If you're trying to get me all flustered, all you have to do is show that pretty little face."

The blond stares at him for a second, spluttering in shock. "I am _not _pretty." He hisses back, scowling. "Call me that again and I'll stab you in the face with one of L's fucking cake forks." He threatens, trying to recover his masculinity. The redhead doesn't doubt the threat at all, so he motions zipping his mouth shut with a blank face.

The blond shoves past Matt, with the redhead automatically following. The other detectives turn slightly at their arrival, taking in the slightly rumpled clothing the teens are sporting.

"I assume Mello and Matt sorted out their differences." As usual, L doesn't sound questioning at all. He just always _knows_. Matt notices Mello move slightly away from him, feeling a stab of hurt at the action. Is Mello really that angry with him? He had only been teasing… but really, it's not like the blond didn't bring it upon himself with the 'L and Light' thing.

Seriously though. _L _and _Light_. There is no way in _hell_ that the two geniuses feel anything towards each other. Well, sure Matt has considered it in the past, but that was simply covering all possibilities – he has found no proof to show that either man even _have _sexualities.

The blond is still scowling at the pair, so Matt decides it's best to step in while Mello tries to find evidence of what he apparently saw. "Yeah, I guess you could say that," he grins, stepping closer to the blond. He doesn't touch the walking time bomb, concluding it safer to just stay in his personal space for now.

The detectives are obviously not stupid. They clearly see that Mello is having some kind of issue with them right now, but after a quick glance (at which the blonds' head snaps up. Matt internally sighs at what his partner must see as 'evidence') they both seem to let it slide.

"Finally. You took your sweet time noticing, didn't you?" Light lets out a dramatic sigh, spinning around to face them fully in his chair. The redhead automatically takes in how the brunet's tie is slightly skewed, and his shirt un-tucked. His hair seems slightly less… perfect than usual too.

Blue eyes shoot him a smugly suspicious look that the gamer is sure the others noticed, but he ignores it, finally taking Mello's hand to drag him over to his laptop. "Yeah, yeah, like you noticed. It took us our whole lives together, I'd like to see you do any better, Romeo." He banters back, stubbornly ignoring the _smug look that has passed onto L's fucking face._

The teens flop down on the couch, Mello now radiating self-satisfaction and the redhead himself trying to be oblivious for once and ignore the signs. Matt pulls his laptop onto his lap, paying no attention to how Mello has spread out on the rest of the sofa and is now poking him in the thigh with his foot.

The bastard is just trying to gloat. Well there's nothing to gloat about, there is no viable evidence to actually physically prove that L and Light are having any kind of romantic relations with each other. Maybe there are tiny, _miniscule _clues that could use some further examination, but that is _it._

Matt tries to push all homosexual-related concerns from his head as he boots up his laptop to get some actual work done.

The playful foot making its way further up his leg and into more… private places is _not _helping matters at _all_, but the gamer just tries anyway.

He hears a noise to his left and glances over to see Mello starting up his PSP with a smirk on his face. The redhead blinks. The foot nudges up higher.

* * *

AN-

By the way, I love redheads. My hair is red. I dye it. Yay Matt.

Love it, hate it? Let me know! Feedback wins hard.

'Is Mello going insane and seeing things? Is Matt just being stubborn and ignoring the obvious? Will L _EVER_ get his cake? _WHERE THE HELL IS NEAR ANYWAY?_

_FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE, NEXT TIME, ON DAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU TO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!'_

_...not really. :)_


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